Laney Bun

“Speaking about manned or unmanned, you gotta get him to tell you about the time he guessed wrong. It’s spring break, just remember that. Spring break 1987, that lovely lady, what was his name? Was it Ivan?”

If I wanted to read regular news where would I even go now? Everything halfway researched is paywalled, all the crazy bullshit is free. This is a legit question, who has news now?

Debating if I'm ready to go back to work, struggling to recall what I actually do there. Kind of a coin flip to go back when I can barely remember where I work.

Noscope has been with me non-stop for days as Ive been sick. Ozzy just stopped by and Noscope left the room while Ozzy is now guarding me. Are my cats on shifts for taking care of me?

While horribly sick I decided to watch something I could half process, went back to the original Marvel movie, Iron Man. I somehow didn't recall the shitty trans joke in the foundation of the MCU, awesome.

God this flu is the worst. I feel like I'm pushing raw eggs out my right nostril but the yolks keep getting stuck in my sinuses

I profess that he let me hit him in the face for a gag. Way too passive for his own good.

He is literally a math teacher

hit 'em where it hurts!! 🥰✨

I had no idea the super bowl was today until it was almost over. Whoops.
-1 on my American score today.

At first I was sad when I heard Pizza Hut was closing a lot of locations, then I ordered a pizza and got 4 ads including one for Lotto tickets when I submitted. Burn the whole company down, that's fine.

I have a clumsy cat so it looks like I self harm basically all the time.

I fucking hate being made to feel an asshole for wanting to do things with people. I should just go fuck myself and isolate I guess.

I have a fond memory of using a cheat code to be invincible in Keen Dreams and having a tomato follow me around for a whole level as my murderous pet. No surprise I have cats now I guess.

This is new brain worm, Le croix style drinks or beverages will be a household annoying behavior for a while now

They bothered to rewrite two of the papers then for the rest changed just headlines or reused what they already made. This paper being all Israel makes it a bizarre moment to read.

James and the giant peach has a weird thing in the final moments. Namely the paper they chose for Ladybug is about the founding of Israel?!?

I miss hanging out with y'all.

I feel like I'm not seen as a person but more of an event that happens to people and thus a disposable experience.

I don't know what to do with that. How do I emperson myself.

honestly not in a million years would i have called this

My coworker: It's freezing out how are you dressed the same as always?!
Me: I'm dressed for the cold!
*Points at thicker than normal socks*
My coworker: I got lost in the driveway snow, I would die.

What... what does this mean...

It's fucking cold out and I have to drag a cat to a follow up appointment post his surgery.

Im so sorry buddy, I'm even preheating the car for you!

All You Need Is Kill was worth seeing in a theater. Some weirdo anime guy started talking to me after tho for no reason, baffling human behavior.

it is funny how all the fictional monsters we imagined taking over the U.S. for the last 30 years are objectively better people than the current regime. Give me Skeletor, please. Cobra Commander wants to run shit? He can hardly be worse than what we're rockin' today. It's worth a shot!

My cat Noscope brings toys to my bed.

Usually ribbon toys or other string toys. Today it's a jingleball when I have to sleep.

I love my cat but I am in hell

I throw together a RPG tabletop homebrew at request of roommates in 1 day where they can play bugs complete with custom character sheets

All three: Why can't we be ocean creatures

God fucking damnit you assholes

I just had a phrase pop into my head.
Food fight potluck
Just fully a convention event where people huck food at each other. Goggles mandatory

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale

Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

They didnt make it