Heather Bartos

yas, sisters. it’s time to stop and…

can i have like 50 of these little dudes? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💗

texas sunset over my horse’s mane.

this pretty much sums up yesterday:

when you’re handed a F*CK taco for lunch. there are so many directions i could take this.

yes, sir. thanks for the free F*CK taco. i don’t think that means what you think that means.

This seems symbolic of so much right now…

when your new crystal skull shows up and you’re so happy but then so sad because they’re shutting down due to tariffs…

so they tried to ban it. Twice.
But this is happening. June 24 (also vagina appreciation day)

now on amazon!

pugilcious monday to you!

Banned.
Banned on appeal.
Held hostage in book purgatory.
Had to “pay” to speak to customer service.

now…oh wait, we’d love to work with you!

isn’t this literary gaslighting? or just abuse.

my cat loves bags. like must lay on them. anyone else?

yes, ladies… chew on this!

spring is on its way (you can’t see the hundreds of busy little pollinators enjoying the flowers)

48 hours in NYC promoting my upcoming book: Quickies: 100 Little Lessons for Living Sexily Ever After in Midlife.

the fact that the old book distributor banned it for being “p0rn” is irrelevant on this beautiful
day. HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY!

Midlife Women Are the True Monsters Apparently, I am a very, very dangerous woman.

substack.com/@hbartos/not...

yesterday i found 16 pens in my purse. today, when i need one…i found one old crusty one in a pocket. why they punking’ me

our book distributor!

since when is discussing and educating on midlife womens sexuality porn??

To me… right now what would be super hot and sexy would be to have Henry Cavill over…

doing all my spring cleaning while i sit and drink iced tea.

Damn.

midlife women! clearly recent events have shown us it’s time to unlock GODDESS mode.

watch out, world.

the highest rate for suicide in women is between the ages of 45-50. is it coincidence it happens around menopause. Mental health at midlife! we need to discuss it more

a woman holds a roll of toilet paper over her head with the number 888 on it ALT: a woman holds a roll of toilet paper over her head with the number 888 on it

when i was in my 20s, i loved to travel. Now, there’s nothing like coming home to my own bed. And toilet.

ok gals: what’s the sexiest city for women?

a close up of a face with blonde hair ALT: a close up of a face with blonde hair

why do kids always look so angelic when they’re sick and i look like an unshowered hag of hell?

a woman is sitting in a chair and asking if she will be my galentine ALT: a woman is sitting in a chair and asking if she will be my galentine

happy GALentine’s Day, ladies!

let’s all be women who support each other! 💗

a woman says you 're a schmuck in front of a man in a brown jacket ALT: a woman says you 're a schmuck in front of a man in a brown jacket

It was bad enough being a woman's health provider in Texas. Now to be a doctor in America with abject idiots in control of our health? I may be out.

why is it one minute i feel full of hope and life is grand? and the next it is abject fear and dismal outlook?

there is no in-between. rough times these are, my friends.

watching the big game with our elf in the shelf who is doing WFH this year from north pole (they have a remote program)

so far the ruffs are 14, fluffs 3

go puppy bowl!!

a woman is talking to another woman in a room and saying `` vintage so adorable '' . ALT: a woman is talking to another woman in a room and saying `` vintage so adorable '' .

thrifting with my Gen Z kid and she’s super excited to find a…wait for it.. Bill Blass blazer. i’m like what the actual…?!!!

a person is holding a yellow notebook and the words you official are visible ALT: a person is holding a yellow notebook and the words you official are visible

I’m a gen x-er. I like my to-do list on a partially used, beat up, wide-ruled Mead notebook.

today…just a kitty photo