De Long and Winding Road

When the farts so guttural it’s reverberated through the pipes

15.02.2026 04:16 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Girl you must be fine China,
Because I know I shouldn’t use you and when I do I will break you. It will be an accident but inevitable

14.02.2026 00:53 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

It’s in my own personal experience where I actually don’t care about yours.

13.02.2026 18:25 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

If the world end that would be huge bummer because I still have $7 on a chipotle gift card

27.01.2026 17:58 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Today my feminine rage manifested in the form of punching a soda machine in a chipotle.

23.01.2026 07:52 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Mom … can we have a sleepover?

#HeatedRivalry #Hollanov

29.12.2025 01:04 — 👍 40    🔁 2    💬 0    📌 0

Heated Rivalry, Season 2’s (hopefully) new teammate

05.01.2026 04:12 — 👍 171    🔁 6    💬 4    📌 0

Sometimes it’s nice being sick on the longest night of the year. It’s like it didn’t even happen

23.12.2025 02:01 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

If I could time-travel I would not go back in time to see dinosaurs or kill Hitler, I would go back in time to watch Heated Rivalry episode 5 at this bar

21.12.2025 05:13 — 👍 544    🔁 94    💬 13    📌 35

Today was the first day someone honked at me. But come on dude, there is not much I can do I’m driving a Zamboni through a public park. Cut me some slack

08.12.2025 00:41 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Something g that makes me feel old and out of touch is the iphone charger constantly changing

04.12.2025 18:58 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

The desperate wondering has been replaced with the heaviness of knowing?

24.11.2025 06:01 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

There is no product that can change my genetic make up

22.11.2025 20:42 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

It’s my personal opinion that commercials and advertisements that say, “no you don’t have straight hair, you have waive hair you’re just using the wrong products” are just trying to get people like me with limp lifeless hair that is rigid like a bread stick an brittle like November Leaf, to buy shit

22.11.2025 20:41 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I needed a platform that wasn’t so meta to share my funny thoughts:
Snake walks into a bar;
Bartender: how’d you do that.

21.11.2025 19:56 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0