Manboob

“What could have made him skeet this?!”

I’m crying listening to the Saturday’s Warrior original soundtrack. I contain multitudes.

There was never a time in my life when I wasn’t pro-choice, but nothing has made me more staunchly pro-choice than becoming a parent.

Daddy’s annual dookie bath

When Minnesota Democratic State Representative Melissa Hortman was murdered in her home by a gun toting MAGA maniac less than 90 days ago they said nothing. Trump even skipped her funeral and chose to play golf instead. He had the chance to condemn political violent and did not.

I’m officially sterile!

Pray for us that the vasectomy took because we got a little carried away (during her fertile window) and I haven’t gotten tested yet 😬😬😬

a woman wearing sunglasses and a red shirt that says " new year new look new paige " ALT: a woman wearing sunglasses and a red shirt that says " new year new look new paige "

When you Canadians say stuff like “grade 8” it really takes me to Degrassi haha

I am honestly so privileged to have a van and a house and central ac. It feels so stupid to want to K*LLMYS*LF over this kind of stuff when I have so much, but here I am.

Not only is the AC out in my van, but I probably need a new transmission and new tires, PLUS the AC in my house just started leaking all over my laundry room. I just want to be one with the void.

Made for each other

I’ve been perceived on TikTok and now I have the Twitter urge to dirty delete. It’s all been super positive and nice and affirming, so I shouldn’t.

I love the green. And black laces would look really cool. But so would purple.

I forgot to take my vyvanse this morning and it’s really really showing

Manny Jacinto in Freakier Friday really did it for me. Manny Jacinto in The Acolyte really did it for me. Manny Jacinto really does it for me.

Elio was really good and I’m sad Disney marketed it so poorly.

Unfortunately, almost every time I go to post something, I realize how unnecessary my opinion is. I guess I’ve learned from expressing my every thought on Twitter hahaha

IT HAPPENED!!!

I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!! THIS IS LIKE THE GOOD VERSION OF BAPTIZING SOMEONE!!! Hahahahahahahaha

YAS DEACON!

I found out last week that neither "Beowulf" nor "The Outsiders" are books that a lot of my coworkers (who grew up in Utah) read in middle/high school English classes. I'm totally shook by that information.

My student employee is here, so I can't tongue the leftover nacho cheese pot. I used a spoon. LIKE THE LADY I AM

Nothing like walking into work late with a bag of Taco Bell breakfast and a large Baja Blast.

Oh no, I’ve unlocked the feelings I reserve for Yuletide in July and now I can’t function

LITTLE LINDA AIN’T NO BABY. HELL, SHE TURNS 13 IN APRIL. SHE’S BENN DREAMING ABOUT THE DOLLY IM THE WINDOW FOR HALF HER LIFE. SHE’S OLD ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT IT AIN’T NEVER COMING. I’D DAMN NEAR ROB A BANK TO GET THST DOLL AND BILLY’s KNIFE.

THERE’S A BRAND NEW BARLOW KNIFE, WITH A SHINY WOODEN HANDLE GLEAMIN’ IN THE WINDOW DOWN AT GALEN JOHNSON’S STORE. MY WIDE-EYED LITTLE BILLY BOY, WITH HIS FACE PRESSED TO THE WINDOW. TOO YOUNG FOR UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE SO POOR.

IT’S JUST ANOTHER HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS IN KENTUCKY. JUST ODDS AND ENDS I’VE FASHIONED WITH MY HEART AND WITH MY HANDS.
IT’S JUST ANOTHER HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS IN KENTUCKY. OUR FINE AND FANCY HOMEMADE LOVE, GOD’S PRECIOUS GIFT FROM UP ABOVE, MAKE UP THE HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS OF THIS POOR KENTUCKY MAN.

THEY SHUT DOWN THE MINE LAST SUMMER. WE’RE GETTING BY ON WELFARE.
IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE, I’M WALKING HOME, NOT A DOLLAR TO MY NAME.
NIGHT IS ALMOST ON ME, A NIGHT I’M ALMOST DREADING.
NO STORE-BOUGHT GIFTS TO OPEN, BUT THERE’LL BE CHRISTMAS JUST THE SAME.

Kenny Rogers’ Kentucky Homemade Christmas album is the best, and I can’t be convinced otherwise.

I love that they made you a gay little sailor.

The pharmacy gave me different needles than I’m used to and my testosterone exploded out the back when it was being injected tonight. I’m just so over it.

Why won’t my body just work?