David

Mind you that in smarts other than filling in the correct bubble on an exam that I’m an oaf.

This boy at a job in college was so insistent he was smarter than everyone because his ACT score was a 34 which meant he had a higher IQ than everyone. It was fun telling him that by his own very accurate metric that I was smarter than him.

Michael talking about the time knife: “yeah yeah, the omegaverse, we’ve all seen it.”

POV: your friend is explaining their fanfic and you send them this

Nintendo Music screenshot of a track titled "Thank You, White Shy Guy" from Yoshi's Story

When my coworker goes to McDonalds and gets me some fries even though I didn't ask for any

I love the detail about how some described themselves as Marxist Leninist - meaning Graucho Marx and John Lennon

It’s morbid that the way I’m dealing with my DnD character’s death is by jumping headfirst into my next character. I’ll miss you Cor the kobold wizard. Maybe I’ll see you again.

It’s a great Hallmark movie and I liked it

This is Tepig slander and I won’t stand for it lol 🐷🔥

Don’t you think the Gulf of Mexico is a little too young to change its name? I dunno, I’m just asking questions here. It could cause irreparable harm to transition so early, and why make a choice you’ll regret?

It’s been wild to see everybody in my life move away from the Republican Party over the last decade while the rest of the country shifts to the right.

I just restarted Arceus, best modern pokemon game imo. Otherwise I always vote black and white

I liked this one a lot

I can fix him

This, but also it’s me racing to finish folding laundry before my YouTube video ends.

I liked one cooking video in Spanish and Reels decided I could only get Spanish language content. But suddenly the next day it’s all English again?

Why doesn’t the algorithm™️ ever “get” me like I hear it’s supposed to?

This is why I keep saying I’m going to switch to just black tea in the mornings. Has yet to happen consistently.

Feels good to hear a supervisor say I’m burying him in paperwork. Like sorry I can’t let you fire someone that easily.

A plate of latkes with applesauce and yogurt. Also bacon.

Current meal: latkes made with leftover mashed potatoes. Bacon on the side. Feels wrong but I’m not remotely Jewish so it’s all good.

Girl I went to high school who is in the military and very MAGA says she regrets voting for Trump now bc his new military head appointment says women need to be removed from all combat positions because they’re too weak. She’s shocked that the “we hate women” party…… hates women 🤦

parallel play Grindr date

Repost with your mission pics

I haven’t been on Twitter for like two years now, but I really miss how I just knew everybody I followed there. 2016 Twitter was the best.

Yes, but it also does matter because I’ve had people tell me not to put money in a high yield account because “inflation is higher than I’ll make from it” when that is demonstrably not true now.

Had to document that my hair was being different today in a way I liked. Anybody else grow up super anxious about their hair?

A coworker was asking why I’m always happy at work. My response is I spent two years forced in the closet while I preached a religion I was losing faith in until I was suicidal. Literally every hell-hole since has been a paradise for me!

Social media decided I want to see endless fitness before/after transformations and I’m just like, you were fine before? Every one of you was very attractive before?