Mess is {shedding}

The scales, the curve, the folds of the base - I discover something new every time I look at him ♡

This beautiful Sahl from @strangebedfellas.bsky.social is my first buy from a drop instead of a custom. He’s perfect. I can’t stop looking at him. Look at the colours, the shimmer, the details!

never felt so empty and sick

thinking of doing cute monster adoptables with the f2u base but I’m stumped on themes and colour palettes. i know i don’t want to make any “normal” animals, but i’m struggling to come up with themes? food themes are overdone i feel so maybe…idk. #artblock

kemono base by MIKTY miki by MIK-TEE on DeviantArt

f2u base: www.deviantart.com/mik-tee/art/...

Okay so I got a cheap tablet, found an awesome f2u base and made myself a fursona. This is Pandemonium, or Nym, and he's a demonic stoat. He's nonbinary masc, he/it pronouns, and he's the brattiest sub (｀∀´)Ψ #fursona #anthro #anthroart

Dermatillomania is such a complicated word for what amounts to my brain going "I do not like tnis piece of skin and therefore, I will remove it". Like, who made it possible for this to happen? Who programmed this shit? Can we have it fixed in an upcoming patch?

wanna know how badly I feel guilty in my day to day life for no reason? guy at the coffee shop messed up my order and *I* apologized.

twice.

also you know what I miss? people with nuanced opinions and the understanding that humans are flawed creatures. like wow do I miss having emotionally intelligent conversations with real people.

And since I can’t do anything, I feel useless and bored, both of which my brain finds unacceptable to the point of wanting to go wander into the woods, climb a tall tree, and take a leap wearing a safety necklace of hemp. I’m physically safe, but my brain is a bad place.

I’m also in a flare up of whatever the fuck this is since the beginning of July (getting more and more convinced it’s actually Crohn’s and not just IBS) so I can’t go anywhere or do anything and I’m having panic attacks 3+ times a day which is making me feel insane and exhausted

I am currently craving praise and attention but I’m too sick to do anything that warrants it so my options are
- become toxic (meh)
- just keep crying in my bed
- try to do something effortless that will get people complimenting me (a spicy pic could work but I don’t want cishet dudes thirsting)

I need a thousand of them 😭

every time i see another person demonizing NPD, using the term “narcissistic abuse” or calling random people or entire oppressive systems “narcissistic/narcissist”, a part of me dies.

every. single. day.

Extremely fucking disgusted to learn how a certain #dongsky shop is acting. Definitely won’t buy from them now, I’m not dropping those amounts of money on a shop that acts like this no matter how awesome the models are, I’ll support shops I know care about their customers.

It looks amazing! I saw the prototype but this is so cool ☆ I 3D model paddles for fun but never knew they could be actually printed!

It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong or that I’m a jerk. Our energies just don’t match or something. I’m protecting my peace and making sure we don’t actually become enemies by keeping our interactions to a minimum. Just respect that boundary and we’re good. Okay?

I went and thought back on our conversations, if we had any, and realized that interacting with you takes more energy than I have to spare for socializing, or that interacting simply does not spark joy. It happens. Sometimes people just don’t get along. Nobody’s a villain. We just don’t vibe. 🤷🏻

I don’t know how to hold a “normal” conversation, I despise small talk, I don’t know how to not trauma dump or info dump on people and usually people ghost me after one or two interactions. If you’ve been unfriended or unfollowed, I’ve Marie Kondo’d our interactions.

Sometimes I get people who are angry or upset that I’ve unfollowed or unfriended them on various platforms and I feel like I need to explain. I have extremely limited energy for any activity, including socializing, and I’ve isolated myself for years due to being bad at socializing anyway. (a 🧵)

Love You by The Free Design on Apple Music Song · 1970 · Duration 2:25

give a little time to the child within you ♡

gonna try to model stuff, redo my pinned, etc but i’m in an episode and i don’t know if i’ll be able to focus on anything while i hate the entire world

confirming that I came out of a dead woman 2 weeks early and cold to the touch explains a lot of things about my mental health honestly (my mother got revived thankfully but I still spent my first 48 hours on Earth in an incubator with hypothermia without my parents)

good morning, fuck AI

I need to sit down and do some research on scientific studies about traumatic births and whether the newborn can be impacted by it later in life even if there was no physical injury.

I had a traumatic birth and I’m more and more convinced it affected me in various ways even though I was so small.

I’m very new to the toy community so I wasn’t there to any specific event but I think in general that you’re a wonderful maker with a wide range of models and every pour looks amazing even when it’s not my specific style. I also love how interactive you are on here and I love the entire branding ♡

Featuring my bed and part of the plushies cuddle pile - I will answer any question about them as if you were asking about my children 😂

I’m currently in a flare up so spending a lot of time resting but it did allow me time to make a fully custom bag for my Lilium Anther from @fauxphallus.com.au! Fully hand-stitched, it’s a drawstring style with a reinforced round bottom to accommodate the base of the toy and not squish it on itself♡

I’m going to “rebrand” so to speak - I’ll still post the same content but also more mental health and chronic illnesses stuff since it’s part of my daily life and it’s exhausting to not speak about this.

my new psychoeducator said I should have a TikTok because I’m “interesting to talk to” and have “nuanced perspectives on a lot of subjects” - lady, I’m AuDHD with BPD and NPD, the internet is going to bully me until I livestream my death 💀