CAP

I'm a risk taker, a list maker. Touched an oven once, now I'm a star baker. You're struggling to finish the test? Lemme help, I'm the lead grader

@internethippo.bsky.social you gotta check this web page out he's kinda spittin

This shit is fire, check it out if you haven't
bsky.app/profile/tetr...

They should invent a tense between 1st person and 2nd person. For when you're talking to the awareness that transcends all individual consciousnesses. Like 1st and a half person tense maybe

The antidote to any sort of nostalgia is recognizing that you can still replicate the old days.
Miss watching VCR and playing gamecube? go buy those today, you still can!

It's less about the old days and more about times with problems we've since forgotten.

Me collecting the paycheck: 😋😄🥰
Me being asked to do anything at all: 😬😮‍💨😭

Though I am a madman singing into a nothingness, I may at least take solace in that my voice is uniquely mine. Nobody could ever replicate my shit

Do white van rentals go up or down on halloween?

Never mistake cruelty for strength.

My spidey senses are tingling. I think I have a spider UTI

"I know what you're thinking Sojourn. Did she blink 5 times or 6? To tell you the truth- nvm they're all back"

me: Man, I could really use a thesis right now

a cruel angel:

Everything in life either is or isn't a dichotomy

...or it's the way out of another dichotomy

When you are pure of heart no amount of earnestness is Cringe. When you are a malevolent little freak no amount of sarcasm is enough to make you cool

me: ugh god you know how you make plans for friday night but then friday night gets there and you don't want to do it and it feels sooooooo good to cancel?

my liege lord Daimyō Nobunaga (unsheathing katana): even a dog understands loyalty. She whose word is not bond does not deserve to live

Do u sex machina

Self discipline without love is self punishment
love without self discipline is indulgence

I am the Magnus Carlsen of doomscrolling

Just realized how different the statements "put your money where your mouth is" and "put your mouth where your money is" are

Okay actually, will elaborate

- Responsible for all life on earth
- Generates planet's light and energy
- So powerful you literally cannot look at it
vs
- Designed to impersonate human form
- Mass consumption of energy and water
- Popular on the basis of usefulness
- Preys on lonely and susceptible

Starting a religion where the sun is the god and GPTs are the devil. Will not elaborate

Broke: Dogs are boys, cats are girls
Woke: Cats are autistic dogs

It's called a head start because if you take it you start out ahead

Been posturing on my own for so long I don't blueprint anymore. Can just kick it and see what comes up, soul's well intrgrated with feelings AND thoughts

Others with their content consumption referential opinion riddled mindsets. Me with syncopated ass thoughts, finger on the pulse. Making things that are gonna hit profoundly in 35 years

Saw a bumper sticker that said "Practice Kindness". Yeah, I'm only practicing

It ain't honest, but it's a much living

Scuba diver to guy who can't swim: "Yeah man, those underwater caves went on for miles. You should really try them out, crazy stuff going on there."

Me to randos in queue: "Yeah man, it's grass for miles out there..."

(guy who doesn't understand the difference between water and fire) how do fish just... live like that...