Lee Simpson

[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS] 1 NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]: Hello there 2 [A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk]. DAD: Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids? 3 NT EMPLOYEE: Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail! 4 MUM: That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids? 5 NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]: Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot! 6 NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]: Listen - that's their call [Calls emanating from the landscape]: tut-tut woke-woke 7 NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]: They are extremely sensitive and fragile... But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery. 8 KIDS [pointing]: There they are! [Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure]. [Little people noises]: woke-woke tut-tut woke-woke 9 [Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]: Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house. [Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]: tut-tut woke-woke 10 MUM [pointing]: What's that one doing there? NT EMPLOYEE: Oh, that's so sweet… 11 [We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away]. NT EMPLOYEE: I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph… 12 [We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]: Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE? [ends]

If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...

Ticket to @theimprovathon.bsky.social purchased ✅️
Monday off work ✅️
Emergency accommodation organised for when my ability to stay awake drops off a cliff at around 5am ✅️

Improvathon is the maddest, most wonderful experience - do drop in for an episode or two.

Hmmm. We haven’t quite worked that out yet.

❤️❤️❤️ I eagerly await the next time I can see these people.
Love them all ❤️❤️❤️

Julian Clary has been guesting with The Comedy Store Players since the 1980s, and he's back this Sunday 2nd November. With Kirsty Newton on piano. Tickets going fast!

Don’t miss! #comedystoreplayers

✨ #SecretsOfTheForest: Satsuki's Tomato Prop 🍅

Did you know that the tomato Satsuki eats isn't really a tomato? Watch to find out how it's made! 😮🌱

#FindYourSpirit

The Comedy Store Players celebrate 40 years this Sunday (though I've only been a member since 1986) Come and see Neil, Josie, me, Ruth and Lee plus Steve Edis on piano, doors 6.30 show 7.30 til 9.30.

It was about this time. Musical differences. I couldn't sing.

Headshots of the Comedy Store Players. Top left is a golden 40 to signify the 40th anniversary of the show

I think, as 40th birthday parties go, this one will be special. And you are all invited.

The news is out!

My Neighbour Totoro is extending in the West End until 30 August 2026!

We can't wait to welcome you to the neighbourhood 💚

📸 Manuel Harlan © RSC

totoroshow.com/news/

Three years of magic and joy. 💚

I mean this is ruddy huge. Get on board.

Ooh look at our new layout!

We are delighted to share images from last week's Antepiano rehearsal of Akhnaten @liceubarcelona.cat !

Akhnaten will be performed at Gran Teatre del Liceu, Barcelona from 16 October - 3 November 2025.

📸 © Sergi Panizo – Gran Teatre del Liceu

Not long until my novel, Introducing Mrs Collins, is out! Nov 6th, but you can pre-order now via link in my bio. It’s all about what happens to Charlotte Lucas in P&P, after her engagement to Mr Collins, and whether perhaps she might find herself to be romantic after all…

#comedystoreplayers40 happy birthday to us

How to Reframe the Transition to Postmenopause as a Creative Turning Point What if we looked beyond colonial Euro-North American ideas of ageing to learn from other cultures? And what creative possibilities might open for us if we perceived the transition to postmenopause an...

Workshop 6pm Monday 27th Oct (recording also available) in #postmenopause as a time of creative possibility. An existential, psychotherapeutic and creative look at #menopause as turning point, opening towards our vital third act. All welcome.
onlinevents.co.uk/event/how-to...

Tomorrow! Fri Oct 10 at @hooplaimpro.com at The Miller, 96 Snowsfields, London SE1 3SS 2000hrs, GTI will be @dylanemery.bsky.social, the Free Association’s Naomi Peterson, me and special guest, Toronto’s Lindsay Mullan. We’ll be on with Dreamweaver Quartet. See you there.

Rehearsals for Akhnaten @liceubarcelona.cat are underway!

Check out some of these shots from the rehearsal room last week.

💚😍💚

My Neighbour Totoro – go behind the scenes for the West End show The spirits abound backstage!

Behind the scenes @totoroshow.bsky.social

OMG so frustrated by the UK's immigration systems. I have indefinite leave to remain, which has superceded my now expired British Residence Permit. There is no actual piece of paper / card to say this, only a share code. But noone has told the airlines who insist on a document that doesn't exist.

Our next D&D Satellite: How Do We Lead Well Together? An invitation for Execs, Artistic Directors & Trustees with @theatre503 is this Thursday, 2nd October.

🕚 Doors open at 10:30am
🎟️ Pay What You Choose, minimum suggested price £10.

To find out more and to get your tickets: buff.ly/HwB2bw2

Applications for our Winter Arts Leaders Residency close this Wednesday!

Arts leaders are not often afforded the time and space for connection, reflection and action. Our unique approach will use Improbable’s acclaimed practice to enable you to take a pause from the day to day.

buff.ly/pGrtxLV

I mean, stone the ruddy crows, this is flippin' huge.

It’s Mike! #comedystoreplayers40

ICYMI: There are 2 x bursary places available on our Winter Arts Leaders Residency 2025!

Applications close on 1st October, find out more on our website: buff.ly/pGrtxLV

I love this so much. The relaxed performances are always so special. And the way Clare is integrated into the show, as a full part of the ensemble, is gorgeous to watch.