Lemond

Beef Wellington is just a corn dog from a different socioeconomic background.

I once played Older on a jukebox in a crowded restaurant.

Consume the wealthy.

I had to scroll for so long to get past his forehead.

I like "Djronesey"

When my tea kettle whistles, danger is afoot.

If I'm chasing someone, I must check the ceiling too, obviously.

The drink is poisoned, or it's the peas.

Security is totally cool if I run thru an airport to stop someone from boarding.

Only the best costumes are worn at teen Halloween parties.

Could also describe his orange buddy.

Am I... not supposed to like this image?

Granted, it's more Halloween than Xmas but I often only pretend to get jokes.

Is there a list? Time to cost them and their shareholders more than a cool mil.

A two panel comic strip. Panel 1: A light gray human shape (like a thicc stick figure) labelled "THE WEALTHY ELITE" reaches greedily, mouth open in excitement, towards a large floating yellow ball that is labelled "A SECOND GILDED AGE" Panel 2: same as above, but behind the gray figure (who now has a sweat drop to indicate nervousness on its head) is a VERY large pink blob labelled "THE RETURN OF OUTLAW FOLL HEROES" with one arm wrapped around the gray figure, expression quietly threatening

Please tell me who first posted this so I can properly credit, bc it made me laugh hard this morning

Lol and when you respond it's apparent that you haven't used your vocal chords since waking.

Ignored call leaves a voice-mail
Package delivered to unknown neighbor
Car breaks down at tollbooth
Still must pay the toll
Tummy ache, lost fart roulette
Replied all with snarky observation
Need six words, have only.....

Future archeologists trying to decipher rocks around the world engraved with 'darKlord42069'

I'm wearing new socks

Recreational drugs

Or you caught a ghost with your mouse trap

Maybe try sudoku lol

He was the genius who figured out that you can't spell USA without 'US'

Welp, we know who is driving the aubergine car. Telling on yourself is the epitome of selfless heroism.

Back when IMDB had a comment section there was a maintained thread that tracked which episodes/cases were solved. There's probably something on reddit somewhere.

I hope that before Biden leaves, he puts super glue on the toilet seat, pinecones in the pillowcase, and unscrews all the lighbulbs just enough that they flicker. What else?

Oh noooo... don't get rid of the EC.... that would own libs sooo hard...

I always check for the cat, even though I just saw him sleeping in the other room and it's impossible for him to climb into the oven. That's when I remember to remove the Le Creuset, sheet pans, and that dirty skillet I hid last week.

Season to taste, I always say.

They have to throw some crumbs towards justice once in a while.

When they talk about privatizing Veterans’ care and Medicare, they mean allowing companies to provide healthcare for a profit.

But how do companies make those profits? By *denying* care to many who need it.

Don’t get fooled by the “privatization” label. It means “for profit” and YOU are the cost.

Fuck, I phrase blocked that name in the other place. Reminder that I have to check if we can do that here.

Quietly and with no sudden movements

Honestly I'm surprised people haven't been shooting at them. (Or have they?)