The Itch

It’s actually really easy to not be in the Epstein files, some of us do it every day

Maybe a new baseball season will fix me.

😅😅😅

BREAKING: Gokce Guven, the 26-year-old founder of fintech startup Kalder and Forbes 2025 30 Under 30 honoree, faces up to 52 years in prison for an alleged $7 million fraud.

Forbes 30 under 30 has a better arrest record than the FBI

I am introducing the Cut It Out And This Time I Really Mean It bill. It provides an additional $57 billion to the murder goons but they will agree to wear business casual Monday through Thursday and if they do any murders they have to put a dollar in this jar.

BREAKING:

Minnesota's chief federal judge has demanded the acting head of ICE personally appear in court Friday to explain what the judge described as repeated failures to comply with dozens of court orders amid its enforcement efforts in the state.

This is the GM firing an assistant coach and hoping that will be the end of the questions, except with fascism.

ICE is now responsible for 66% of the homicides in Minneapolis this year.

The guy that runs the Reddit where people post about patting their cat on the butt like bongos has put his foot down

tired of the news being snuff films

“Get it all on record now — get the films — get the witnesses — because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower, after visiting liberated concentration camps in April 1945

T-rex selfie

This right here is why we play the game.

Cat wandered in front of the camera during the #aurora long exposure

I'm sorry. As a technology writer, I'm supposed to be telling you that this bet will some day pay off, because one day we will have shoveled so many words into the word-guessing program that it wakes up and learns how to actually do the jobs it is failing spectacularly at today. This is a proposition akin to the idea that if we keep breeding horses to run faster and faster, one of them will give birth to a locomotive. Humans possess intelligence, and machines do not. The difference between a human and a word-guessing program isn't how many words the human knows. I'm sorry. I know that when we talk about "digital sovereignty," we're obliged to talk about how we can build more data-centres that we can fill up with money-losing chips from American silicon monopolists in the hopes of destroying as many jobs as possible while blowing through our clean energy goals and enshittifying as much of our potable water as possible.

Córy Doctorow with another verbal bullseye: pluralistic.net/2026/01/13/n...

Even in Captain Planet the writers room would be like ok tone it back

Random Fox News dipshit is surprised to learn that Appalachian values don't include government agents shooting people in the face

<record scratch> "Yup, that's me - a soulless Fox News host. You may be wondering how I ended up here, listening to my guest tell me Appalachian values don't include government agents shooting people in the face."

I can't describe how bad Minneapolis feels right now. My neighbors are pulling kids out of school. The public schools are offering remote learning until 2/12. We are having conversations in our alleys about how to protect ourselves. It feels like a military occupation with a blockade.

The FIFA Peace Prize used to mean something

babe wake up, they're doing insider trading on war crimes

Ramsey was channeling SGA on defense for Pittsburgh there.

Meh, there's nobody on staff to enforce this anyway. I hope the states just keep being states.

me contributing to the family Christmas plans

Jimmy Fallon: ...so you'll just consume everything.

Artaxias, The Screeching Void From Beyond the Sun: ALL SHALL LIVE WITHIN MY MAW.

Fallon: That's so wild.

If this is to complement Edwin Diaz, it is a tremendous move. If this to replace Edwin Diaz, may God have mercy on David Stearns' soul. #LGM #MetsSky

@lanyardigan on twitter: "A cool thing about getting older is you hear from your skeleton a lot more"

computer going to take my job? no. i’ll pour water on it