Fuck anyone that makes you feel small. Blind those motherfuckers with your light.

I’m building myself back up.

When I’ve become who I was always meant to be, I’ll remember those of you that have stood by me, known how to support me, and been there when I needed you.

I will forget those who’ve only ever dragged me down, because you don’t deserve the wasted energy of my anger.

Nothing like being in a dark headspace, 3+ hours away from your anchors. 🫠

Orders toilet seat. Seat breaks. Orders replacement. Replacement breaks.

Immediately realized opportunity and rushes to leave the following review:

Does not like big butts. Lies.

Shaved my sternum in preparation for lil’ tattoo.

Bare patch looked weird. Did the whole upper chest.

TL:DR no tattoo today, so broken hearted and bare-tittied. Smooth AF tho.

Failure to suspend disbelief:

“Just go see this one fucking dude about this basic-ass tattoo design. If any tattoo shop in the entire fucking city did this Cyrillic letter “J”, this one fucking dude will know about it.”

“No ink touches skin in this city without Tiffany’s say-so.”

Ok but hear me out, since they’re so expensive.
Get the most bang for your buck.
A full world tour in one recipe.

The Pickled Deviled Scotch Tea Egg.

But is there any way to legitimately add MORE culinary adjectives?

Watched Quiet Place Day One yesterday and I don’t even remember if I liked it or not.

I spent the entire movie worrying about the lead’s cat surviving.

They always cooperate for wet food.

Started off the day by cursing my future self to figure out his own lunch; I’m hungry now. Fuck that guy.

I’ve learned the hard way.

This guy swipes left on the phrase “partner in crime” from now on.

I ordered a book of stamps from USPS and now get a tracking number as they’re shipped from Missouri to NC.

Stamps. Like, aren’t there a billion on a shelf at the post office of am I missing something?

Whatever. I won’t need them until next month’s rent.

You know it’s gonna be a great day when you’re the first one to blow up the bathroom at work.

Gotta keep reminding them of the hierarchy

I will lean hard left to fart if my cat is sitting on my right.

The American Medical system is dumb and will most certainly be “how I die”.

me after having kind of a crappy day WEED

It turns out there IS an “I” in Team. My team roster today includes Me, Myself, and I.

Apparently it’s ditch day and I didn’t get the memo.

The new daily chore: balancing my insides so my gut doesn’t punish me all day.

This wasn’t a thing last year, I swear.

This holiday limbo is always weird. People ask what I did, and it’s “nothing”, and then I get the fucking puppy dog eyes.

I’m alone every other goddamned day of the year, why does everyone feel the need to make me feel worse about it come year’s end?

How do writers look back at the fucking horrible things they did to their characters and just go “this is fine”?

As a long time D&D DM, I’m a real sadist. I’m just downright awful. I’m a horrible person.

But if players knew all kitties were immortal it’d all go tits up.

I don’t understand how I’m getting stranger/bot follows for 4 posts and a canned fart on this app. But hi? Here’s another.

Home after a week away, and it took hours to get both kitties to forgive me.

The hardest part about going on trips anywhere is leaving this smiling face behind.

One day.