Matt Kilcast

At least it’s not Bug Bingo.

Applause for this!

Oh Iain.

They were just really excited to tell you and rushed the email.

I like to Chewit Chewit. Recently reincarnated with Volvos instead of salivating dinosaurs.

I think this is a metaphor for having children.

This leaves me with an unaccountable craving for those pink licorice allsorts.

Some ice cream, in a glass, with more rum than you’d expect.

Don’t know how old your kids are, but swing by the Fauna Brewery afterwards. Lovely food too. Just don’t order them the rum and raisin ice cream, it’s… potent.

Email title, “Mr Kilcast, we’re here for you if you need us”.

Just got this email from my bank and now I’m worried I’m in a hostage situation.

I worry my town’s audiences aren’t very good. Maybe I read too much between the lines in comedians’ comments. I wonder if it reflects badly on me somehow, like a reverse TripAdvisor review, or if I’m supposed to table it for the council to consider.

Sounds like a rough day. Stick on some Gnossienne No 1, have a cuppa, and forget other people for a bit.

Don’t trust Wall Aptos.

Oof. Makes me feel old. I regularly listen to Ladytron, Fischerspooner, Add N To (X), Midnight Juggernauts, Vitalic, etc, and in my head that's still new music.

Now I have to rewatch Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa.

The futuristic Fireflash airliner from “Thunderbirds” (1965).

Obvs.

Sorry to hear this. Prioritise what’s important, good luck to you and your family.

Every time I hear Alcaraz’s name I think “Crying at the Discotheque” and honestly I’m happy with that.

There’s a concerning zombie vibe, I have to say. The sanitiser dispenser. The emergency button. The memorial to Baby Max.

It looks worryingly like a cell door. Is she… is she in there?

Sigh. I may no longer be as young as I was. Eastern European (I guess, from the accent) mother tiredly trying to wrangle roaming toddler in pub garden. Toddler notices me and veers in my direction. Mother: “NO! Is not Grandpa!”

My middle aged carcass thanks you for your consideration. Though you should keep an eye on that DCL chap in the ressies.

Return to Goodison is perfect for this.

Even Kate Adie looked shaken.

This is like when Poundland opened next door to Poundworld in St Albans. The schism that followed, well...we're still counting the bodies.

@phoenix.tapbots.com Hello! Are you looking for TestFlight testers yet? Very keen to see and help the new app.

Taking the slow way back from Lea Bridge to Hertfordshire, from the rain-speckled top deck of a 55 bus. Graffiti on a Hackney shopfront: I FARTED IN YOGA.

Does he keep saying TWO WEEKS then his head splits open and Schwarzenegger storms Sword Beach?

Any chance you’ll sell this as a print?

Absolutely love this. Such a bleary sun-baked charm and homely appeal, like the happy memory of a summer holiday remembered by Studio Ghibli.

Was just about to post this, it’s an excellent read.