Joshua Berwald

I’m 99% sure none of them could accurately define communism.

My heart is breaking over this news and I’m viscerally anxious about how the right wing is going to use this to further its attacks on my trans sisters and my community of trans people. Please please care for yourself loved ones today.

Can I join???

"You come to me, on the day of Miss Piggy's wedding . . ."

Jesus, meeting my daughter by a well.

Her: Give me some water.

Jesus: Go, fetch your water bottle and come back.

Her: I have no water bottle.

Jesus: You are right when you say you have no water bottle. The fact is, you have had five water bottles, and the water bottle you have now is not yours.

a man in a suit is sitting at a desk with his head resting on his hand . ALT: a man in a suit is sitting at a desk with his head resting on his hand .

OH HEY HI i’mmmmmmmmm DEFINITELY AWAKE

Every time my parents give my kids a toy that makes noise, I give their number to a mortgage refinancing company.

I had the same thought. I was hoping for some support for the queer community, or even something about fires.
Nope.

Thank you for watching! This live event has now ended. You may exit playback and select something else to watch. Local Time of Error: Sun Mar 02 2025 22:37:59 GMT-0500 (EST) OKAY hulu

Congratulations Hulu. No notes.

Jealous, tbh

It would absolutely fix me

Around 35% of SpaceX’s revenue comes directly from the federal govt.

Less than 1% of NPR’s budget comes from the federal govt.

For Pippin’s birthday his auntie Jillian got him a portrait of him as president.
I can’t tell you how much I wish this were a real picture. We’d all have unlimited acress to all the cheese we want and no one would ever have to leave their puppies alone at home to work (or whatever hoomans do).

No other explanation.
It’s the same way my banks count keeps committing fraud by not having more zeros at the end of my paychecks.

alternatively you could say what i said: "we will primary the shit out of you and make sure you no longer represent Minnesota if you compromise with Republicans on this blatant bigotry."

The saddest puppy in all the land.

Pippin watching me cleaning instead of snuggling him.

Space alien: Take me to your leader.

Me: I’d rather not.

I don’t care what the “official policy of the US government” is, I will continue to use whatever pronoun you tell me you are.

Obviously.
I’m going to lose my mind here.

“Henceforth it will be the policy of the US government that there are only two genders- male and female”

He does a whole ring about how everything will be colorblind and merit based and then immediately contradicts himself and doesn’t care.
FUCK YOU FUCKFACE

Franklin Graham is the embodiment of everything wrong with Christianity. Everything he just prayed is literally the definition of “using God’s name in vain.”

Oh fuuuuuuuck you Facebook.

Parenting, year one: “We’re going to feed them only high-quality Whole Foods and not give them sugar for a year.

Parenting, year nine:

"Diane, it's 8:15 on a Thursday morning. I heard the news about David Lynch. Very sad. He loved a good cup of coffee. Let's make Twin Peaks available on our streaming platform."

Love fruit and grain!!!!!

With twins on the way, we suddenly need a larger van! The minivan won’t fit six car seat kids at the same time.

Every time we pass a church I think about informing the pastor that Jesus said we need their church van.
That should definitely work, right?

Here’s our first good look at the twins! And yes, in case you missed it, baby number five decided to bring a plus one! Due sometime between the end of April and the end of May (twin due dates are even more unpredictable than single babies, evidently). I’m rooting for May 4th.

Well it’s all worth it then!!

Okay, I’m logging into this place for real. My account on that other place has been erased so if you know any cool people I should follow send them my way.

Respectability is overrated, sounds like they’re a bit of a prude? 😂