Evan M. Bedford

No, I like it.

#poetry

You’re not scared of the dark?

#poetry

A weeping
crescent moon.

An eerie expression
of sorrow.

An eerie glow
of what is not hollow.

It is sentenced
to its wallow.

With its tears,
the feelings follow.

#poetry

I am aware of
the truth.

That has been
obscured by my doubt.

Telling me
that I should shout!

The forces
that are beyond myself.

Guiding my way
to good health.

Seeing a direction.
Seeing a reflection.

A reflection of me.
A representation of myself.

#poetry

I wanted you
to be the one.

The one that
I could come to.

When I didn’t
feel well.

Though you turned
out to be a disaster.

A portal to Hell.

#poetry

Things are going a way
that I do not want.

You use your old
propaganda to fill a slot.

I love you dearly.
I love you a lot.

I knew that you felt the same,
though now I do not.

You choose to
cause me distress.

As if by a blood clot.

#poetry

Intense mental
scrutiny—
about things that no
one else would
care about.

Feelings of disconnect.
Feelings of discontent.

Obsession
over minor details,
that will not relent.

Perceiving insults,
that never were meant.

Time that
is poorly spent.

By fate,
the time was lent.

#poetry

A moment of
embarrassment,
found in delusion.

Laughing at delusion.
Hallucinating a structure.
Put into place.

Sending my
mind to race.

Sanity not
properly set in place.

Exposed—
due to loose lace.

#poetry

Maybe your insult
was intended
to invite me to
prove you wrong.

And based on
what I have done
so far—I still have.

When clarity struck me,
I remembered I still want
to make you glad.

Though your
interpretation
of me—seems so bad.

#poetry

I have nothing.
I will be gleefully
taken by the waves
of the tide.
For you are not my bride,
the reason I have sighed.
Into the ocean,
fallen are the tears
that I have cried.

#poetry

Life is painful,
and I liked what
I told myself that you did.
Rather than
what you may have.
I wish that I had everything
that you needed me to.
I wish that you had
listened to what
I wanted for you.
Though my opinion
was rendered irrelevant,
by what I could not provide.
Now that I don’t have you,

You are my outlet.

I want to wear your
presence like an outfit.

Two people that
are completely opposite.

Two pieces that
are completely fit.

Without me—
you are just a candle.

I am the flame—
the reason that your wick is lit.

#poetry

Eerie and unsettling.
You wonder if you
broke a piece of your tooth.

Both pain
and numbness.

Attacking you at
nearly the same time.

#poetry

When you chew,
and then you
accidentally bite bone,
or your own teeth,
and it catches you off guard.

Alerting the nerves
of your mouth.

Registering to
your brain.

And sometimes I wish,
that we just never were.

Half of her heart—
now in the chest that’s mine.

She is the reason,
that I forever whine.

#poetry

Always in desperate
search of a place for
my soul to rest.

I fell victim to her.

Half of my heart—
now in her chest.

Always unable
to break through—
from the crest.

So that I can leave,
like a bird from its nest.

Though she is stuck in my mind,
and half of my heart
is stuck inside her.

All to perform
an action that never
needed to be completed.

#poetry

An irrelevant—
unwanted thought.

That has rendered
an action unworthy.

Leading the
action to be replicated,
then unworthy again.

Until it feels right.
Until the next time.

The thought comes back
to perform the action.

Until the other thought.
Until it hinders it all over again.

I like kicking things
along a path.

While having a sour—
off-putting face expressing
dissonance.

Kicking random
objects with contempt
and conviction.

Knowing where they land,
as if with a divine prediction.

#poetry

The unwelcome
thoughts that bind!

Neither good nor evil,
but both of them combined!

#poetry

A nearly cataclysmic uncertainty.
Provoked in silence.

Doubtful of
perception of truth.

Deceitful acts,
that lead to unknowing.

Thoughts that do not
serve the greater construct.

Thoughts that are defunct
that cluster in the mind.

I am closed up.

Unwilling to love.
Unwilling to trust.

Redacting statements.
That was a must.

A minor luster
of chemistry.

Now is kicked to the dust.

The one that I desire—
will not come back.

No matter how
much I have fussed.

Unwilling to love.
Unwilling to trust.

#poetry

Her eyes sparkle,
they take me to a different place,
and I don’t feel real anymore,
in the best way.

I become her peasant.
A body with eyes
that only exist to gaze into hers.

#poetry

Malevolent mysticism.
Beautiful pain.

Everything that I have
ever dreamed of.

Class and old-fashioned sense,
salted with arrogance and ignorance.
Two words that she embodies.

And it is all overlooked
by her adorable,
and brainwashing charm.

I love every strand
of hair on your head.

And I’ll grieve
every single one.

From combing,
falling loose or from old age.

Or still set into place—
as you leave mine.

Each strand
moving further.

With each step
you take away from me.

I will love every strand
even then.

#poetry

She knows where
the portal is.

To get to euphoric
clusters of sound.

That lead in
no true direction.

But only exist to please
and unsettle the listener.

#poetry

A recurring issue—
of her cruel expression of desire.
That is meant to deceive.

A structure—
set in place to level what
had appeared not to be.

To become equal.

#poetry

That means the silence
between us is far more
deafening.

It is instructive.
Inciting my patience.

A test to see my endurance.
To see if I am willing to suffer
her wrath and still continue to love.

She is going
to make me wait
and induce me pain,
just for being me.

I am different—
not like you.

I mean more to her—
unlike you.

Your beauty
entrances me.

As if it freezes me.
Stopping all of my motion.

Easing all tense
emotion.

Causing all my pain
to drown in the ocean.

Leaving peacefully,
not by explosion.

You are the cure.
You are the potion.

#poetry