D

​I'm trying to figure out if watching the Chicago Marathon counts as cardio. I've been standing up for hours.

This looks and sounds amazing!

Nothing says "welcome to your productive flight" quite like a pre-flight text from United letting you know the internet is a no-go.

Guess we're going old school with post-it notes.

What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married? ..... Feyoncé

Most puns make me feel numb- but maths puns… they make me feel number

Would HD have that up already? I feel like it's months out still 😂

A Spirit Halloween opening in August is just the universe’s way of reminding you how far the year has slipped away from you.

I've heard of working smarter, not harder. Today I'm just working.... Slower, because I forgot my mouse at home and that deeply hits productivity.

This ice cream truck's playlist is giving "holiday spirit, no matter the weather." I appreciate the dedication, even if my brain is still processing 'Jingle Bells' in the middle of Chicago Summer

My apologies for the radio silence. We were busy conducting groundbreaking research into the optimal napping position. Results are conclusive: any flat surface will do.

My favorite words, noted!

This may be my next step 👀

What a birthday celebration 🎉

Time to combine the two

Worth?

I once had a full conversation with a dolphin. We just clicked.

So this is what they meant by "AI is going to disrupt the industry"

My weekend was supposed to fix the jet lag. Apparently, the jet lag did not get the memo.

That gameplay looks great

asking the librarian if they have any books in dark mode

My brain is still on vacation, but my body is back at work. Let's see which one wins.

My social media presence has been enjoying a siesta here in Spain. Don't worry, I'm still alive, just prioritizing tapas over taps (on my phone).

Typical morning scroll

Pro tip: you can avoid putting “no DMs” in your bio by being super annoying (it’s worked for me for years)

Amazing work 👏

I barely remember area codes nowadays, not sure how I used to memorize phone numbers

Whoever came up with the phrase “don’t yuck my yum” was doing the opposite of cooking. They were putting ingredients back on the grocery shelves

Goodbye, daily food adventures and hello, laundry mountain. The cycle of vacations continues.

Every time.