Jersey Mook's

Give everyone in Ireland the day off tomorrow for Troy Parrott day. Holy fucking shit.

It says a lot about the Jets that most fans are actively celebrating that the owner is in the Epstein emails because it might free this team from his dogshit ownership. Like “thank god this owner did the worst thing, we might make the playoffs in two years and we don’t need a Commanders rebrand.”

(Unedited iPhone photos btw. Also my first one as a transplant living here)

I got some of the aurora borealis in Richfield too

Varmints Minneapolis Based hardcorepunkrockandroll band. Party music for the people.

I warned my band if they didn’t get their shit together on the album art there would be 7 year old memes as placeholders. Check out my bandcamp: varmints.bandcamp.com

Winning games is overrated #nyjets

Today’s Jets game was an all timer for bad QB play and bad in-game management by a coach. Given how the Jets have been absolute ass for most of my life, that is saying something.

As someone who somehow never saw either movie, 1978’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers and 1981’s Scanners are two absolutely perfect movies to start the 2025 Spookie Season.

Watching the latest episode of Alien Earth and when Timothy Olyphant’s character had a streaky sticky white substance all over his face I blurted out “BUSTIFIED” like it’s 2012 and anyone knows what I’m talking about.

Nothing like realizing my Napalm Death shirt probably will turn some heads at the children’s library as a pull up. Drove back in a different shirt as my 21 month old daughter and I rocked out to Napalm Death.

Show at Tune Town was fun! Varmint’s second show. We’ll have the demo out 🔜🔜🔜

credit to UFOTOFU for the song, Wingnut Magnet, Mitch’s old band, and RIP Norm

Want to see some hardcore punk in Mankato? My band, Varmints, is playing Tune Town. Also Melpomene rules.

It’s so nice to be on the other side of “fuck your statistics we won” away at Old Trafford. Rough watch but 3 points is 3 points. 1-0 to the Arsenal.

If you want to see a live show in Minneapolis my band is playing today

My 20 month daughter said vegetables and it sounded like “fuck your balls” and we worked on pronunciation for a bit but I don’t think I’m recovering from laughing that hard.

Not unless they get bought by Qatar

Dunno why you’re laughing when you’ll be back to Millwall away in 2026.

Fuck it Prem Prediction with no explanation:

1. Arsenal
2. Liverpool
3. Chelsea
4. Man City
5. Villa
6. Forest
7. Newcastle
8. Man United
9. Shit
10. Brighton
11. Everton
12. Palace
13. Fulham
14. Bournemouth
15. West Ham
16. Sunderland
17. Wolves
18. Brentford
19. Leeds
20. Burnley

Yell at me

Goddamn it I’m getting hope again.

Work from home is nice but where else but the office could I tell one of the other companies in the building is having a Papa John’s Pizza Party by breathing in the elevator?

I’m an American and I prefer the british heinz beans to canned baked beans.

I pissed off Americans with the bean preference and pissed off Brits by not calling them tinned or whatever it’s called there.

Welp my 19 month old is going to know Bambi as a 45 minute movie for the foreseeable future.

Toddler parenting is getting your face scratched up and ten minutes later seeing the tiny human who mauled you looking out a window and say “hi squirrel” in a voice only you can understand and thinking it’s the cutest thing ever.

Friend of mine’s dad ordered a doctor mcgillicudy cherry and wild cherry pepsi at a fancy-ish pizza spot and when he was told they didn’t have the ingredients he said “well what’s the fucking point” and was silent the rest of the meal. He might have you beat. Missouri is unfair competition tho.

If you’re going to destroy my sweater, at least have the decency to hold this string as I walk away you fucking heathen

Just say “Pep is clear of Fergie” and you will get Gris mad for 45 minutes. I actually have several specific things you can say about Manchester United that will upset your cohost.

Yes, I absolutely am the type of guy being made fun of this episode and can’t wait to hear it.

Him getting covid was the last funny day on twitter.

Hahahahahahaha Fuck Newcastle and the “pLuCkY uNdErDoG” narrative around them.

Actual fans immediately blocked some dipshit named Microplastics Enjoyer.

I stumbled upon a Tim Pool video and I’ve never heard him speak before and HOLY FUCK THAT IS WHAT THAT DORK ASS SOUNDS LIKE?!!!! Hahahahahaha