⊹¨𝘿𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙼𝚌𝙻𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚢｡♰

The bullshit she is prepared for:

Fit and fashioned for today's bullshit.

...

She's gonna kill him.

Hey.

Who the fuck took a video of her giving the werewolf a titjob?

MotherFUCKERS--

Today is just not the day to fuck with her.

Her only companion in this long ride is the rattling of metal and the ever-present darkness.

Where is she going? Who knows. But, eventually, a smell hits her nostrils, and she's out like a light.

When she awakens, she's met with a white light and the hum of flourescent bulbs.

"Sure, if they find you."

Those aren't normal handcuffs, and this isn't a normal arrest...

Time to go into the suspicious white van!

"Welllll....You do. You're being detained for interfering with a federal investigation."

"Mhmhm, follow me." And off she walked, backside swaying under the robe. She fetched two glasses from the cupboard, placing them on the little island and eyeing the woman.

"Hope it's the good shit."

She hadn't really noticed the lights, but she heard things, many things in fact.

The individual spoke, she listened, and a brow rose as her tongue clicked.

"Maybe I do. What's in it for you, sir? Just wanting to do your good deed for the day?"

"Sweetheart I have had a staring contest with monsters that would make your pretty little head pop like a zit.

I'm not censoring myself."

"I may be perverted, broken, deranged, psychotic, a terrible human being."

"Yeah? And?"

There is zero guilt in her eyes.

[ @arcanediscoveries.bsky.social ]

"She'd have a better time as my secretary than doin' her little 'investigations' by herself.

God, imagine a pencil skirt."

+"Glad ya found the place okay." She stepped aside, motioning for her to enter.

It's a hell of a nice place: mansion, off the beaten path, pool in the back. Definitely a place you might get killed if you aren't careful.

The door opens and Aurelia's there in nothing but a silk, partially see-through wine-colored robe.

"Sup, firestarter." She clicked her tongue, grinning.+

"And this is why context and doing your research is important, everyone!"

What the fuck is Aurelia staring at? Aaand her eyes snap back to the other.

"Thanks, appreciate it. I think I'll just keep my soul being shackled to my job instead of a jackass vampire."

Comment if you'd prefer Fantasy!Aurelia.

"Oh, what the FUCK?!"

[ @nycbites.bsky.social ]

"God, sometimes I wonder if being a thrall to a vampire is better than my job.

But do I get benefits? PTO? 401k?"

Exploding a monster's balls with her mind.

Call her post-nut annihilator.

Making squeezy grabby hands.

"F U C K ."

📲: My place, 9pm.

[LOCATION RECEIVED]

📲: Wear somethin' cute for me, darlin'

Curves are to be appreciated.

Tragic.

📲: Hell yeah.

📲: Provide the whiskey, I provide the face. Among other things

[ @battlerat.bsky.social ]

"To give headpets, or let him give me backshots? The answer is yes."

[ @silveredsurfer.bsky.social ]

"Jesus, alien women really are stacked."

"Good response."

📲: Government stuff. Can't really tell ya more, babe

📲: Unless you fill me up with some grade A whiskey and sit on my face 🤣🤔