Adam Shepard

Hell yeah!

Me

Big moves are being made. And by that, I mean my fridge. Seriously, that thing is heavy.

Utz chip company logo (white lower case letters on their side against a red background.) next to that is a rosy cheeked cartoon girl reaching into a chip bag. Above that is a pink speech balloon that says ITS UTZ AGAINST THEM!

This is the confrontational energy I want in a snack

This. #DCforpres

Politics aside, can we all agree these are the only acceptable jobs for an 81 year old:

1) operating a night-market food stall their son does not want to take over so it will die when they do

2) making the films of Martin Scorsese

If there was one person I could bring back to life and just punch directly in the face, it would be whoever invented the Allen key. Terrible design, and I'm willing to bet they're a leading cause of arthritis because my hands are killing me.

If I've learned anything working in corporate America the last few months, it's that no one ever reads their email

What's up?

*checks watch* at this point we only have time to listen to drum OR bass

Research has shown that nearly every animal can yawn. Which means nearly every animal can visibly lose interest while you're explaining your job

I'm going to use this platform to push for a reboot of Static Shock. Truly the best superhero cartoon from the early 2000s

I like that bluesky asks me "What's up?" Reminds me of my cool uncle.