ᴡ ʀ ǝ n

i just feel like its maybe a liiiiittle tacky to post a video to your instagram of you flipping the camera the bird saying you “ended your marriage” (tip: no u didn’t, i did) while grinning but maybe im wrong.

THAT LIGHT INSIDE YOU That “hole” we sometimes feel in the center of us? It isn’t emptiness. It’s a light. A core. It’s what remains when every human costume forced upon us has been smashed off the floor — the pulse that refuses to die even when we forget how to listen for it. It’s a tiny space… that’s why it often feels: quiet, unreachable, hidden beneath trauma, scar tissue or silence. But it’s never truly gone. We may meet creatures who tell us they’ve felt distant from their creaturely and animal selves; that their connection used to burn brighter, but now it flickers. I want to remind you — as the elder wolf at the table, (tending her own light) — in the midst of everything terrible and wonderful — flickering is still fire. The disconnection isn’t a failure; it’s a season. The creature self can go underground like hibernation. The light doesn’t vanish; it waits. You can’t force it open with willpower or rationalise it into the open. You reach it by remembering softness — the warmth of breath, the weight of fur — imagined or real — the rhythm that existed before words before human thought before guilt and shame. There were times I thought I’d lost my light too — when the world grew so impossibly loud in my head and the human masks became too heavy to lift. But every time I’ve fallen quiet enough, the light has stirred, and I’ve known she was still there: the creaturely ember that endures even when the rest of me forgets how to howl. If you feel nothing right now, that’s OK! The light doesn’t demand anything; it simply is. Touch the earth. Breathe. Feel the wind move across your skin. Cry, bark, purr, shout, weep. Creature will feel it. It always does. That light was never a hole to fill — it is the part of us that remembers what we truly are: whole, creatures of light and love, wild, beautiful and free — waiting to be met again. And if it flickers and splutters? Fear not. That light inside you will come back. It never went away. — Shimi & Critter

Dear #Therians finding it hard to reach or reclaim your creaturely selves… this one is for you. Put it aside for when you struggle.

That Light Inside You…
(Text in alt)

it’s y(our) hand keeping the flames enveloped

it’s also a great emo band

and is it wisconsin or washington. and is it 2016 or 2025. and is it now is it then im here and im not and im turned sideways in time touching times that cant live here in the now.

late light; dusk

just…thinking about this Real Hard and grimacing forever

i can’t believe i got adopted. how is it possible. how is this real life.

i assumed i would fall apart completely in the shadow of getting divorced and becoming homeless. instead, at least for this moment, i feel more like a flower blooming after being stomped on for six years. i feel like me. all of me.

don’t think i’ve ever felt this free? drove 6 hours to mend a friendship i broke and, in return, was invited to spend the weekend on a queer commune that’s straight up healing my feral little soul. love and care and connection raining down like i’ve never quite seen it

yeah i’m brain is sorta in overdrive shutdown and i’m trying to navigate a divorce B U T my brain is also experiencing freedom to exist as is and the polycule adopted me as house cat so like. checks n balances.

bad parts of severe memory issues: most of the everything
good parts of severe memory issues: hey i just found $57 dollars i forgot/left in this jacket i haven’t worn in months and months!

life-altering mental breakdown, life-altering surgery, and now life-altering ending of most significant relationship in adult life. can 2025 like take a breather for a second. please.

what if i tear down everything, yes, but reinvent myself right instead.

well. i may have just fucked everything up so bad.

tip: i don’t wanna go back home

if you offer to let me fall apart, are you then prepared for what happens if i can’t pick up the pieces, and what does that mean?

ah yes but i see that you already have a dog so when you offer to foster THIS dog, i need to be assured that you’re prepared for a scenario where you foster fail (can you meaningfully support two dogs).

yeah we’re jettisoning our soul to hell or outer space. i feel perpendicular to life in a way that’s wrong and fucking off. fuck me. don’t do this to me now brain.

if someone offered you six months to just lay down in a studio apartment and let your brain unravel so you could genuinely move out of survival mode and figure out your fragmented consciousness, no strings attached, should you take the offer?

i thank the cosmos every damn day that i can easily parallel park my truck

(and honestly i don’t know if this is a Me™ thing or a DID thing or what. it just. it keeps happening every time.)

what if the life upheaval that usually follows my trip to the midwest is bad tho. what if i come back worse. what if i tear down everything and reinvent myself wrong this time. i’m scared.

the wave of emotion i just felt hearing from someone i talk to daily but who is ill right now seems a bit…overreactive. miss ur friend much, wren?

(i’m freaking out)

intentionally meeting the family at the poly house? jokes about adopting me as the cat of the household? getting added to the family music plan?? this could mean nothing. could mean anything actually. not freaking out.

am i…getting adopted into the coolest polycule in town???? is this?? reality actually?? my dream?????????? how do i stay normal about this.

system: *showing signs of distress* *showing hallmarks of moments before major life change* *body breaking down*
me: i should ignore these : )
(readers note: wren did not in fact ignore these signs for much longer)