Paniz Alexander

"It's been a minute" is the ultimate time traveler’s paradox. Is it 1 minute or 10 years? My brain needs a GPS for this timeline. #ItsBeenAMin #TimeConfusion #SlangProblems

Mike & the Mechanics "The Living Years" is the emotional sequel to Harry Chapin "Cats in the Cradle".
One is “I don’t have time for Dad,” the other is “Wish I had more time with Dad.”
Together: the full fatherhood feels multiverse.
#ThrowbackHits #DadSongs #OppositeVibes

Tough week ahead. Rapture one day, interview the next. No idea what to wear when you might get judged twice. #Rapture2025 #InterviewPrep #ApocalypseChic

If Tylenol causes autism, does Ibuprofen make you fluent in French? #Science #MedicalMyths #BigPharmaWho

Mi amore, don't you know?
My love, I want you so
Sugar, you make my soul complete
Rapture tastes so sweet
#SweetApocalypse #SoulComplete #HeavenlyTiming

So the rapture’s coming up next week? Perfect. Now I don't feel so bad about ghosting people. #RaptureRumors #ApocalypseMood #RaptureWatch

Imagine being immortalized by REM as a “sad tomato.” Not a rose, not a star… a tomato with feelings. #SadTomato #AltRockDrama #90sLyrics

Amazing how one song can teleport you to childhood… suddenly I’m in the living room, recording music hits onto a cassette like it was a full-time job. #MusicTimeTravel #RetroFeels #SoundtrackOfLife

"Walking on Sunshine" is the musical equivalent of stepping on a Lego... in your brain. #StopTheSunshine #EarwormNightmare #WhyIsThisStillPlaying

Synthesizers in music are like cheat codes, press a few keys and suddenly you’re in a neon-soaked 80s movie montage you didn’t know you needed. #Synthwave #80sVibes #MusicMagic

Got my professional photos back. Apparently, the camera was fine. It was me who decided to channel my inner confused potato. Guess I’m starting a new trend: ’awkward chic.’ #ModelGoals #NotReally #ForeverAwkward

The roads are full of wild characters lately… feels less like driving and more like competing in a live-action video game. #RoadRage #HighwayMadness #IRLVideoGame

Had brunch at Pur and Simple expecting purity and simplicity... instead, I got a full-on greasy fiesta, nothing pure or simple, just pure deliciousness wrapped in a buttery, fatty hug! #BrunchGoals #NotSoSimple #PurAndGreasy

Reporter on TV suggested eating something spicy like cayenne pepper on a hot summer day instead of ice cream because it makes you sweat and ‘cool down.’
No thanks, I’ll sweat with my double scoop of chocolate fudge instead.
#SummerLogic #IceCreamWins #WhoEvenDoesThat

Netflix Just Deleted Bandersnatch - Help Preserve This Cultural and Interactive Landmark Can you spare a minute to help this campaign?

So let me get this straight - Netflix releases a new Black Mirror episode directly tied to Bandersnatch… and then deletes Bandersnatch?!
That’s like writing a sequel and burning the first book.
Justice for Colin Ritman.
Sign the petition: chng.it/jR4gkXvyDs
#BringBackBandersnatch #BlackMirror

Me: excited about Black Mirror Season 7
Also me: mentally preparing to be emotionally devastated, existentially unhinged, and scared of my toaster.
Let's gooo... #BlackMirror #Season7 #CryingIn4K

People who walk and read at the same time: are you truly that into the book, or just auditioning for the role of Deep Thinker?
#WeGetItYouRead #SidewalkScholar #WatchYourStep

Me: I’ll check the election results once and get on with my day.
Also me: refreshes page every 12 seconds like it’s tracking a pizza delivery.
#ElectionWatch #JustOneMoreRefresh

Update: The maple tree is safe. So am I. #CdnPoli #ElectionResults

This Canadian election is so close, I’ve bitten all my nails, my neighbor’s nails, and I'm eyeing the maple tree outside. #CdnPoli #ElectionDay #Nailbiter

Every time I see this one colleague, we talk only about hats. I don't know their job title, last name, or even if they have kids, but I do know their strong opinions on types of hats. Some things are sacred. #HatChat #OfficeMystery #FashionOverFormalities

Showed up to my kid’s soccer class, only to find out it’s an open house. 15+ toddlers chasing the ball like a swarm of bees. The word ‘shitshow’ comes to mind. #ToddlerChaos #SoccerMomLife #SendHelp

Me: typing the most chaotic, brain-melting nonsense ever
ChatGPT: That's a fascinating perspective!

Unbreakable. Unshakable. More polite than a customer returning an obviously used item to Costco.
#AIisTooNice #ChatGPTvsMyChaos #PolitenessOverload

Watching Sesame Street for the first time as an adult. I knew puppets could be funny, but Elmo? Didn’t see that coming. He's a comedy genius! #ElmoIsMySpiritAnimal #SesameStreet #AdultingWithElmo

Savoring this last half-bag of Cheetos like it’s a fine vintage because I refuse to buy more. This is my farewell tour. #LastCrunch #SnackTariffs #BorderlineHeartbreak

Noticed all the leafy greens at the grocery store were from the US. For the first time, I have a legit excuse not to eat salad. #Healthyish #SaladDodger #ExcuseUnlocked

Spending a week at home being a housewife recharges your soul and makes you a zen master. I highly recommend it from time to time! #HousewifeLife #SelfCareOrLazy #DomesticGoddessEra

Just passed my French exams with flying colors! Or should I say… couleurs éclatantes? #CLevelUnlocked #FrenchSuccess

We complain when people don’t like us, but imagine if everyone did - constant texts, endless invites, and a waiting list just to hang out with yourself. No thanks! #HatersKeepYouHumble #FanClubTooFull #IntrovertPanicMode

Nothing hurts more than having a hilarious thought but realizing everyone around you is too serious to appreciate your comedic genius. It’s like holding in a sneeze, but for your soul. #FunnyThoughts #TooSerious #LetMeLaugh