$$$$$. His other kink was inviting smart people over to talk to while they nodded, smiled, and took the donation to their foundation. “That other 5% really sullied the whole operation…”

Might have to leave Insta because they don’t want me to exclaim “…fucking Fetterman, jumping Jesus on a pogo stick.”

It’s pretty clear that republicans are comfortable blowing up the deficit, so they could easily blow up the deficit AND fund food stamps. They just don’t want people to have food stamps. Not for austerity or anything, just to be shitty to people not born rich.

If Democrats agree to let republicans open up the government the Republicans promise to hold the football real still.

Are democrats caving or colluding? Either way they all need to be primaried.

Have molested kids ruined church? #NYTimesHeadlineIdeas

Rub-a-dub dub, bitches.

Step 2: Get 1 million rich New Yorkers to keep their promise to leave.

Media talking about “wHaT tHeSe ReSuLtS mEan.” What they won’t say: running a campaign based on what the voters where you live want, worked this time. Mamdani and Spanberger didn’t run different campaigns. They ran on stuff directly affecting the people voting for them. It’s the same campaign.

I think a lot about how different things might be if Biden had picked Doug Jones as AG. Whelp, here’s to the long slow climb out of authoritarianism that could have been avoided if Comey had kept his mouth shut, or Garlin had done anything, etc. etc.

You ever just get a hankerin’ for circus peanuts?

Me either.

You don’t have to pay people to protest a guy who would commute George Santos’ sentence and get Ghislaine Maxwell a cushier detention. #NoKings

“Yeah we goose’em a bit. It’s called a goose suit. It’s an old circus term.”

Yeah, weird how much more optimistic Slaughterhouse is than Galapagos. Love them both though. Never read Slapstick. 🤔

Honestly, it would be pretty hilarious to see John Bolton taken down by the shitty world he helped create.

Presidents don’t set the budget though. The dip and funding under Clinton wasn’t Clinton‘s doing, it was Newt Gingrich’s. But to your point, yeah, with inflation going up and performing arts something notoriously difficult to make efficient, the real trend is downward.

So much for state’s rights, huh?

I was hoping to be surprised by that guy. But he turned out to be exactly what I thought he would be, like, right down to the last pixel-perfect detail.

“All I Want for My Birthday Is to Fuck Another Mayfly,” by a Mayfly I’m going to keep this brief. Tomorrow I will shed my nymphal skin and exoskeleton and burst forth in all of my winged adult mayfly glory. I’ll hav...

"If it’s not clear by now, allow me to spell it out for you: I JUST WANT TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL REPRODUCTION WITH A FEMALE MEMBER OF MY OWN SPECIES BEFORE THE LIGHT OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS IS EXTINGUISHED FOREVER."

You know, I get it if you’d rather have someone besides Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl. But if you are one of our leaders and think it’s some kind of pRoBLeM for the country, you’re just outing yourself as one of these racist people that think Puerto Rico is a foreign country.

Kind of makes me want a Troof Social account just to observe the loons, though it’s probably not worth the hits to the ol’ mental state.

Well, guess I better go to work to bail out farmers for not selling beans to China and then work some more to bail out Argentina who is now selling their beans to China. At least my healthcare is about to be unaffordable .

4 star generals be like….

😐
**** ****

We must pay billions to farmers

Because we cut off their customers with tariffs

And pay billions to Argentina

Whose farmers are selling to the customers we forfeited

Because that is America First

The creator of The Man Show is too woke for the MAGA crowd. Talk about snowflakes.

My vibe? Chill. My speech? Chilled.

Next they’ll say the homeless need to turn down the reckless rhetoric.

Imagine being alienated from all your family friends because you were a MAGA cultist. Then watching Trump and his cronies (poorly) making excuse for not releasing the Epstein files. This is probably just the beginning of ex-maga on maga violence.

In times like these, we need someone who can bring this country together. Someone like @anthonyjeselnik.bsky.social

Oh, so NOWWW the rhetoric needs to be toned down. Cool. Cool. 👍