Jiminsi 🥩

someone got shot right in front of me + i dropped my phone while running away and now it's stolen, and now i cant sleep bc the incident is burned in my head + im stressed abt all the things i cant access like my banks + the requirements i need to do to get my number back and block my stolen phone

i really really need to speak to my therapist soon. I'm having such a hard time regulating my thoughts and emotions...

One day I know I will look back at this and see it as a funny incident but today's not the day yet... I just have to push through as always and I'll be ok

i want to draw and have fun after work and not stare into space, wonder what was so wrong about me that apparently only i got this treatment, and then cry. I feel isolated in the workplace but this time it's just in my head bc the guy got to me. there's nothing wrong now except me

i didn't think i could feel so homesick for a workplace... the guy left but I'm still crying about it </3 im so sorry, there's just something broken about me that makes it difficult to bounce back from stuff like this. I wish I could not feel so strongly about it anymore...

I want to be capable enough already so i dont have to keep asking my team mates things so i can just keep to myself 😞

It'll take time, i know that. But i feel like i have left an unfavorable impression on others too bc of the drama i was in </3 i wouldnt be surprised if the distance i feel comes from that too 🥹

im probably just near my period but i feel like a bother siighhh

I feel like I got too used to working really well with people bc of the years of relationship I've built with them.

Now that I'm working with people who are indifferent, feel no affection for me, or just don't know me... it's a little sad ahejdnsn

Thinking abt how when I tried out for Muay Thai in college, they had to tell me to stop apologizing after throwing a punch. They had to practice me beating something without apologizing.

Guy was so off I suddenly dont feel bad abt anything he says to me shejdjsn crazy

🥺🫡🙇🥹 ^_^ ^3^ ^0^ <-- this is a threat to some HAHAHA

See, 🫡🙇 being threatening is crazy work. I feel like those are the some of the most submissive emojis

I have fragile self esteem and confidence about a lot of things except my politness. That's BAKED in me. You literally can't tell me im being too high and mighty im submissive af i had to unlearn being a doormat for years

HIGHEST COMPLIMENT considering i struggled sm drawing them in the beginning hahaha

YEAH i changed the base that was for SHJ to fit him LMAO (forces Yoojin's hand into his mouth)

my favorite one is Song Taewon's ngl UUUUUUU my big government worker baby...

i ended up documenting my work misery here so far, that's sad KSJDHAJ

Im determined to draw today so I've been drawing these three through tears LMAO we never stop brainrotting actually

I don't feel very confident right now. I feel like a weak stupid embarrassing manbaby. I can't believe the guy got to me this bad. I feel like I failed myself in some way. I want to return to how I was 2 weeks ago. I'll take infection pain over this feeling like i'm fundamentally broken

you'd think that someone who came from a violent background that I would be callused from experience. but no, all it gave me are hit boxes that when someone hits it just right, I completely break down. I feel embarrassed that I'm walking around with so many hit boxes.

feeling very "im too weak to survive in this world" right now. like people are looking at me and going "cringe" or "skill issue" because I can't get over someone saying a couple of mean things to me. I can't regulate my emotions and I keep crying on and off over and over again

I think I will just allow myself to cry instead of holding it in bc it hurts when I do. Not like there's anyone around me to judge, other than myself who is unfortunately a harsh critic LOL but ah, let's practice mindfulness and being kind...

I feel so embarrassed and ashamed and i think that's what makes it hard. I'm not equipped to handle feeling humiliated and ashamed, I think it's a very very very sensitive thing for me.

I think it also just poked a lot of trauma stuff in me. I need to talk to my psych about it...

i think bc of whats been happening in my job, my emotions are all wack and all over the place. like right now I have this urge to cry even though nothing is really happening. I'm embarrassed that I've cried in front of two coworkers now bc I can't control myself.

I feel like crying so bad but im in the middle of hosting a session. I barely understand whats going on. I hope when i talk my voice wont wobble when i have to close it. Im having such a bad time at work it's insane

Well i guess the answer is to just quit. Im not considering it immediately bc theyre trying to change, but i need to remember I can quit. If I cant put up with it, if it's not something i can get used to, i can quit. I'll be fine.

I feel weak bc everyone seems to be "it happens". Theyre not saying it's okay, but theyre saying this is a thing which i understand, but it feels like Im the only one who hasnt experienced it and I have to build grit. But what if i dont ever want to spend my days in this kind of environment?

This job makes me feel so stupid and weak. Like the things i thought were fine arent... and the things i know are wrong are practiced here. Ive cried so much this week and it's only my second week here.

if i look at this guy as like a child throwing a tantrum and throwing his weight around, I'll feel less intimidated. I should remember that I managed to navigate my relationship with my family, which is the hardest thing I'll ever do. This guy doesn't come close fr fr skdfhjjs

After calming down, I realized something. This guy might be one of those that thrive arguing with people. Feels like my mom LOL and how I dealt with her was I gave her nothing KASDHJA and i will do that. I'll just say "ok!" and give the needed info and leave.

Im a little scared because the guy is genuinely picking a fight now and idk what to do. Theyre so aggressive 🥹 how can people work in these conditions 😭

im so worked up right now. i saw a message and then got worked up. but i did breathing exercises and i feel more or less normal LOL

time for me to go back to drawing for fun!

A girl....can be a shota....guh(falls to my knees

I went out to eat outside and smell da rain anyway LOL im gonna go look so sex soon

You accidentally got the chinese-filipino house set up hahaha