tom freethestones

My #CelebrityTraitors prediction is that Alan Carr just confess to multiple people that he’s a traitor and absolutely no one will believe him

Academy Award level intrigue raised by the police and ambulance outside and the passing comment "The vegetable aisle was closed".

wake up, the outsmarting has already happened

i don’t want to displease it.

yep 💯 , i think this is universal. the dial on the toaster isn’t connected to *anything* - 2, 5, 10, no difference. the toaster decides.

yeah man, this is what i mean

if you adjust the settings on the toaster *after* you’ve pushed the bread down does the toaster take that into account or does it ignore you and you’re locked in to wherever it was?

i’m an adult and a) i don’t know this and b) i think about it quite often (i.e. every time i use the toaster)

Robert Redford, still from The Natural (1984)

oh, man

graphic logo with the text “DATA ZONE”

HIIIIIIIIIGHWAAAAAAY TOOOOO THE…

10/10, no notes 👌🏻 - congratulations to all concerned (i.e. The Stufflebeans)

Pardon?

Facebook marketplace ad for a full length mirror. It it being held up by a man with heavily tattooed arms (which are all you can see of him). While the person taking the photo is reflected in the mirror. She has a sheet over her head and is wearing reform-blue coloured crocs. Five quid if you are in the Bournemouth area.

An absolute banger for @sellingamirror.bsky.social #FacebookNews

Slow Pilot EP, by Hai Chairs 4 track album

We released our debut EP 4 years ago today. Maybe I'll write a few things about it, and us, in the coming days. But you can listen to it here (or most other streaming platforms) in the mean time haichairs.bandcamp.com/album/slow-p...

everywhere i’ve looked people have been saying the same thing, so this isn’t even a lukewarm take - it’s barely even a take at all, tbh - but the Blood Orange album is really, really good.

Long read please on impact of jersey sales to offset the cost of those first round picks.

Also we need an advanced metric for ‘general vibes boost’, which i feel is relevant here.

*Great* column, really helped my addled UK Packers fan’s brain make sense of this. Wow.

Pumpkin Spice does not worry me. It’s the adjacent concoctions that are the primary concern. I dare to see what fresh abominations their scientists have created this year, no doubt utilising nutmeg and matcha in ways that even the most debauched of Gods would condemn.

could be a trapped nerve, but who cares at this stage

went to Legoland (on a bank holiday, that’s a whole other thing…) and i pulled a muscle in my neck while on one of the gentler rollercoasters. middle age is relentless in its mockery.

…and I’m assuming I’m not the first person to send this - another absolute - from Vicki Sparks today on 5Live Everton vs Brighton (and have you had “plate” already?)

an absolute “absolute” from co-commentator Adam Blythe during stage 1 of La Vuelta yesterday afternoon…

…and followed up with “FOLLOWUUUUUUUUUP!” absolutely brilliant 👏🏻

blimey

#football

💯, he’s been excellent. and that was pure unfiltered yet *just about* controlled excitement when the equaliser went in, great stuff

joyous madness

that was a *great* commentary moment, btw #EngIta

thick white buttered toast - recognised by UNESCO as a Tier 1 treat

after a night of heavy rain, the cat’s like “ffs i have to go and sniff every square inch of the garden *again* do i?” and it’s very clear that it’s my fault

Please say their lawyer is like a little hedgehog in a suit with a briefcase

the absolute state of the font on Man City’s shirts. shouldn’t be allowed.

i only get annoyed at important things.

#FACupFinal ball vibes: