Paul

Went to Ikea on Monday to buy a wardrobe. Didn’t get one but came home with this wee guy (not from Ikea😂)

Can’t store clothes in him but he’s definitely a lot more fun 🐈‍⬛

Train tickets £80
Match ticket £100
Hotel £150
Buckfast £10
Soap £0

Losing the match in the 93rd minute and no way of getting home tomorrow

Absolutely fucking…….

You know, I have to say I feel a little bit sorry for those Rangers fans heading home from Hampden after losing the match that way.

Sorry, what I meant to say was…..get it right up every one of you horrible Hun bastards😂🖕🏻🍀

An inspirational tale for aspiring journalists.

Remember, if you're a sibling of the former Prime Minister, and close personal friends with the current editor of your favourite magazine, and his ex-wife, you too can achieve your childhood dream of becoming its columnist

My country 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💪🏻 Fuck the fascists.

“I bought land simply because I wanted to avoid paying inheritance tax on my vast fortune and I want to thank you gammons, who don’t have two pennies to rub together, for being on my side even though I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire😂😂”

Morning everyone. Back to work today after a week off☹️

Looks freezing out there but opening the bedroom blinds to this view every morning definitely helps with the back to work blues 🥶😍

Closing scene from Shawshank where Andy Dufresne (Me) is working on a boat on a beach in Mexico. Red (Old Twitter Mutuals) approaches the boar grinning.

Oh, there ye are. I was wondering what was taking you so long😂

Listen, everybody is sound but at some point, in the not too distant future, some gammons are going to slip through the net then it’s open fucking season😎

Listen, it seems nice here and all that but I’m really missing seeing posts from Farage, Yaxley-Lennon and Julia Hartley Brewer said fucking no one, ever😏

FUCK. YEAH. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

The best case for leaving twitter is that the swamp dwelling paid blue ticks - even the famous ones - won't follow. They are too invested in the Musk of MAGA.

Sensible people - of all poltical shades will - and we have an opportunity here to reset the discourse and bring back a degree of rationale

Hopefully more will move over soon. Noticeably less flagshagging gammons over her but obviously hoping some make the move or there’s going to be no one to wind up😂

Yoohoo👋🏻

This all feels a bit like moving into a new property and throwing a housewarming party where everyone is having a great time but you just know that eventually some arseholes will turn up and someone is going to take a shit in your kettle.

This would be funny if it wasn’t so horrific.

I actually had tears streaming down my face. One the greatest lines ever delivered on a UK TV show😂

Surely can’t be far away now with the numbers building up here the way they are.

Honestly, I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to read posts where the comments section isn’t overrun with blue tick wankers polluting the place with the worst takes on the planet😁

Ah, another ball licking connoisseur. Consider yourself followed back👍🏻😂

Going by the past 24 hours, half of these are tims😏

Wouldn’t surprise me😂

I refuse to believe that someone worth $300bn actually looks like this. So long, sucker👋🏻

a man is kneeling down with the words " you are the master " written on the bottom ALT: a man is kneeling down with the words " you are the master " written on the bottom

When #CelticFC eventually get their arse in gear and open a BlueSky account.

Doesn’t matter which club they support. An arsehole is an arsehole🤷‍♂️

Musk realising that everyone is leaving Twitter and all he’s left with are the smouldering ashes of a once great app.

Recent refugee from Twitter. It appears that more of those I followed on there are here as opposed to Threads.
Interested in Scottish politics, particularly the case for Scottish independence (non partisan).
Also love live music/theatre.
Give me a follow is what I post might interest you 👍

Won’t be long til they realise there’s a party going on over here and they come crawling over. Might as well enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts😂