🏳️‍⚧️ Jackie The Gaylord 🏳️‍⚧️

i love dnd. one minute you’re trying to comfort a child that was turned into a horrific monster and the next your cleric hits two people with a car, instantly knocking them out

solavellan

@thebandcake.bsky.social

Had a dream that I skeeted "when the the the" and got an ungodly amount of likes and reskeets and Bluesky banned me because they thought I paid for the likes and stuff

Treated my 5-year-old to lunch at the local crepery today. It's run by Ethiopians, but they make really delicious, French-style crepes. I got avocado, tomato, and cheese. This is the beautiful America they are trying to destroy.

Pretty much what happened to me X3

"i'll be ready in a sec guys, i just gotta change"

(Closes the door to my room and starts talking to a therapist)

man, guys are so extra

"I am an engine of suffering."

"I am the herald of despair."

bro you're cranky, eat something

Me when I visit your mom’s house:

Listen to the tiny blue men, do it, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble.

I think I just saw an ad where the Smurfs were trying to sell me on gambling?

They’re both very evil and very stupid

hell yeah

never forget that we’re currently facing total economic destruction because fox news got upset about 0.0001% of our population wanting equal rights

And couches

It's pretty nice as long as ur nice!

"What do you want! I'm talking to the souls of the damned! Get out of my room!"

Bad morning 😼

Friend: Your fly is down.
Me: I know.
My Fly: Yeah I'll eat shit or whatever, dude. Super down for pretty much anything.

He died after meeting the couchfucker, if that doesn't say something, idk what does

A man says to his partner. "I want to have sex, but you're going to have to take off the mayor sash." His partner reluctantly removes the sash. The first man points to his partner's penis which has a tiny mayor sash hanging off it. The first man says "the little one too.." The partner hands it over and says "Aw man..."

Cooked like sum lava chicken

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are out and about, and Blue is about to ask something as his voice is drowned out by approaching, extremely loud engine noises. Blue, drowned out by the noise: What was it that you wanted fro- Giving up mid-sentence, Blue turns to look behind his shoulder, as both of the foxes peer behind themselves to see the source of the noise. Both of the foxes watch in amazed silence as a comically small fox drives past them on a comically small motorcycle, which continues to make a deafeningly loud roar and clamour as it slides past them, not moving very fast.

digital drawing of V1 from ULTRAKILL posing flirtatiously wearing a classic Playboy bunny suit, albeit with one of the chest pads loose. it's covered in blood, smearing some across its face, its other hand holding a shotgun. the background is white, and the drawing is in colorful painted tones.

happy easter #ULTRAKILL

My condolences to everyone in the Catholic faith and beyond who are feeling the loss of Pope Francis today. May his memory be a blessing.