Patrick

You better watch your mouth, or the young GOP’s highly trained tactical protectors will be kicking down your door. Assuming their electric Rascal scooter doesn’t run out of juice on the way to your house.

When you’re a star, you can grab em by that. The GOP assured me that it’s ok.

They better not try that shit in TX. Oh and also, if you try it in another state, a TX Ranger will follow you and Ken Paxton will sue you.

From a logistics perspective, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to make it to all those funerals. Then, on top of it all, I’ll have to plan mine. Ugh.

We all know that this picture is wildly inaccurate. Couch Boy needs either a bro, or its lesser known rival product, a manssier. You know, for support.

Putin also owns the GOP, and knows he can count on them as loyal lackeys that will sell out our allies in a heartbeat. Republicans will treat our allies like they treat underage girls: to be used, abused, and ignored when they need help.

I just need someone to explain to me how this is Biden s fault, and I’ll feel better.

These newly minted socialists will cry and whine for bailouts (while bitching about welfare recipients) and dutifully line up to vote GOP again and again, year after year. Couch Boy and his billionaire buddies will grab their land for pennies on the dollar, and the farmers will blame Biden.

Death’s gonna be so busy, he’ll need a vacation from his vacation.

The last thing that jack booted thugs expected was republicans to be licking - vigorously, almost, salaciously - those very boots. At least republicans will no doubt remain true to their other principals: lower deficits, state’s rights, free enterprise, and prosecuting pedophiles.

When?

Many years from now, when our grandkids look at the huge bronze statue of a brain worm on the national mall, and ask what it is, we’ll be able to say, “why that’s the brain worm that saved public health in America!”

If you were an interior decorator who knew there was about a 10% chance of this conniving, tasteless conman actually paying your bill, then you’d buy the cheapest crap you could at Home Depot, hit it with $2 of rustoleum, and pray that you don’t get paid in autographed Trump Bibles (made in china)

I hope she’s got someone checking her brakes for her. Telling the truth on Fox is a risky endeavor, rarely seen. Such a move where Trump’s boss lives usually results in a failed window safety test.

Big wide carpet. Seems a shame to not wander around the whole thing.

I can’t quite make out the shape under the blanket…is that…an underage pageant contestant? Nah. Couldn’t be.

Tourist is the dated definition. They are now referred to as patriots, heroes, and future heads of federal agencies. I’m starting to wonder how we’re going to fit the faces of all the amazing Jan 6ers on Mt. Rushmore, since they clearly deserve nothing less.

You’re forgetting the last stage of MAGA logic: the rest of us are supposed to show endless empathy and compassion for them when THEY are faced with cancer, hunger, or healthcare cuts. The challenges and hardships that people face are literally nonexistent to republicans, until it happens to them.

Willing to bet you won’t be able to get a table in there for years to come, as hordes of grateful diners show their appreciation - and open their wallets - to regular people with guts, grit, and courage.

It’s almost as if the nonstop flood of millionaire/billionaire sycophants and their lobbyists to Mar a Lago, checkbooks in hand, has delivered an ROI that none of our 401k’s will ever hope to match. The GOP could give 2 s**ts about Americans, they’re too busy selling out America.

Not SOME of the benefit I paid into, not MOST of the benefit I paid into, ALL of the benefit I paid into.

Which vegetables? The ones in the store or the ones rotting in the fields owned by Trump voters who can’t believe that the leopard is actually eating their faces?

As if immigrants didn’t have enough reasons to not pick vegetables, now they also face the specter of an armed, bloated Dean Cain. Ugh

I’m shocked the GOP is giving away this particular natural resource. Given their record and values, if they really wanted to impress their KGB boss they’d be handing over the natural resource that republicans prize above all else: underage kids.

I’m honestly not that worried because Susan Collins has expressed that she is concerned, so…um…yeah.

3 on a scale of one to, I’m gonna go ahead and say infinity

I think we’ve all come to accept that we’re living in the stupidest timeline. I mean, we get it, ok, universe? You don’t have to keep pointing it out.

It’s a vicious cycle! A delicious, buttery, cycle, but still - vicious.

Sigh…..ok…..

This is getting out of hand. Honestly, how much popcorn am I expected to eat? At this point I’m gonna need a dump truck to keep making deliveries straight to my front yard. It’ll look like the end result of Real Genius. (RIP Val Kilmer)