Knight

HELP I PISSED OFF THE WHITE SUPREMACISTS

Do I need to spell out who this bill is really for?

Heeeeeeey people who moved out of their abusive parent's house...

How did y'all do that???

Like how'd you find a place? How'd yoy escape without them getting a key to your place? How's you break the news to them? How'd you save up for it?

Red lightsabers are for the bad guys.

Sedimentary. Possibly Jaspar or an Agate.

As long as you burn 500+ calories, three or more times a week, you'll find yourself losing weight.

I say this as someone who's lost almost 20 pounds since February and has only been to the gym 27 times this year but has burned over 10,900 calories in that time. All mostly cardio.

It'd be easier to simply introduce exercise that'll burn some calories, creating a natural deficit, into your life without restricting your diet. Especially if you're someone who's ever struggled with diets in the past, since most restrictive diets fail anyway...

If you are someone who has always been roughly the same size and weight for the majority of your adult life, that means you're can maintain weight with your existing diet.

Unpopular Fitness Opinion:

You don't need to track the calories you eat and eat at a calorie deficit to lose weight.

When I tell you I'm cooked...

"El, how are you not on birth control?!"

Cause all of my partners for the past 11 years have had an innie, not an outie, and my last prescription made me extra spicy for the big dirt nap. I also didn't anticipate being asked out so fast, so now I'm scrambling to cover my bases, okay?

I'm very sex repulsed for the record.

However, I am going on a date with a guy I had a crush on when we were in school together the EXACT DAY I'm due to ovulate, and well...You're not you when you're ovulating.

The federal government expects me to pay taxes and contribute to society, but I can't buy a box of condoms without blushing as red as a fire truck and giggling like a schizophrenic clown who just heard the world's funniest knock-knock joke.

Put me out of my misery already.

Dumb pet peeve of mine, but I hate when shops online market themselves as "Midwestern" but then they're all the way in Wisconsin.

Baby, you're in the North. You wanna market your shop as "Midwestern" you gotta be in heart of the Corn Belt.

One you could hit doing 40mph and it will be completely fine, the other thing will explode on impact.

1945: LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS!

2025: Whatevs.

Roses are red
Violets are blue

America will be Trump's 7th bankruptcy and he will blame Joe Biden.

A tweet from Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) responding to a post by Elon Musk (@elonmusk). Ron Filipkowski’s tweet reads: "Two-thirds vote to convict. 100 Senators. 60 is not two-thirds." Below it is a screenshot of Elon Musk’s tweet, which says: "This is a judicial coup. We need 60 senators to impeach the judges and restore rule of the people."

Elon either can’t do math, or he can’t pass civics.

a group of people wearing face masks are standing around a table full of food ALT: a group of people wearing face masks are standing around a table full of food

Doooo iiiiiitttttt

I blocked that barstool whatever account on TikTok and now my FYP is nothing but Survivor clips. I ain't mad, just curious how the algorithm landed on that for me.

I've got that dawg* in me!

*Lego autism

Thinking about my DnD characters and realizing none of them are actually all that serious. Even my "serious" character has a comedic relief side kick.

I feel like this says a lot about me.

Baudoinia compniacensis eating up ethanol vapors 🤝 Cladosporium sphaerospermum eating up gamma radiation

Both being a black fungi that people fear monger as evidence of humanity poisoning our planet, when this is two cases of nature adapting to humanity and cleaning up the environment.

The funny thing is, if you know me, you KNOW how I feel about the environmental impacts of industrialization and government negligence, from growing up in the Coldwater Creek floodplain.

But this? This fungi? I won't let y'all scare people with it!

"You're just a corporate brown noser!"

No! I just don't want to demonize a fungi that coexists with us harmlessly!

FUCK OFF

"Well, these corporations shouldn't be dumping waste into the environment!"

They're not. This fungi eats ethanol VAPORS. Vapors. As in the air. You ever smell wine? Scent is a vapor. It is eating air. If anything, it is cleaning the air.

So tired of this world, man.

I saw a post on TikTok talking about a type of harmless fungi that eats ethanol vapors, known as Whiskey Fungus. Cool, right? It's eating a byproduct of fermentation at distilleries and junk, yeah?

Everyone is fear mongering the harmless, drunk fungi.

I hate it here!