Madi Alton

Wife: [kissing me] Let’s roleplay
Me: ok
Wife: Pretend you’re my daddy
Me: ok
Wife I’ve been a bad girl
Me: why’d you marry that idiot

15.02.2025 01:49 — 👍 1102    🔁 243    💬 14    📌 6

Food Company: We use preservatives to make sure little creatures don't want to eat the food

Me, a little creature: Hmmm

15.02.2025 00:50 — 👍 109    🔁 12    💬 2    📌 0

when is it “all fun and games.” ever.

10.02.2025 17:31 — 👍 19    🔁 6    💬 1    📌 0

A blue work van with the side door open. The name is shortened so it says: Mike Is Hard

Maybe...

10.02.2025 03:49 — 👍 27    🔁 2    💬 7    📌 0

accidentally thought about how deep the ocean is and how many catastrophic freaks are under there and now I am entirely out of commission

08.02.2025 16:23 — 👍 12    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

Sorry I emerged mysteriously from the fog and startled your livestock

08.02.2025 00:05 — 👍 618    🔁 137    💬 5    📌 1

@sardonicsloth.bsky.social

08.02.2025 00:56 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

The #french always #protest better💅🏻

07.02.2025 19:03 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

06.02.2025 17:26 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

06.02.2025 16:38 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

@sardonicsloth.bsky.social lemme smash, thanks 🫶🏻

04.02.2025 16:51 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0