петух штык ⌛️Memento Mori⌛️ 🇵🇷 🇮🇪

Damn bro why did I never get to go to the dentist with the oculus rift I would love being able to play beat saber as they numb my shit up

them: "shoot your shot"
me: :: faves your skeet :: 🥺🥺🥺

oh hey baby are you a fleshlight because what the fuck is that terrible smell

I think I hate people too easily

smoking too much only leads to good decisions kids

proud of this one fr

Little guy is home and had some breakfast — a great sign that the pancreatitis is clearing up :)

✨trash flies across the country✨

i think we should all get back to doing cute shit we would do as friends in grade school

this Valentine’s Day BET ima be passing out valentines to all my friends with candy in em 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

I'm watching two seagulls in a parking lot fighting over an empty ketchup packet and my brain has captioned it 'The Left'

rediscovered this image again and currently sobbing

Isn’t the plot of momma mia just that her mom was a gigantic whore 20 years ago

Gonna name my next pet dryer lint

bro they made the nasty patty irl

they executed the bird and not the dude that left the window open???? 😭😭😭what.

much to think about

He seems like a shitty guy

god this reads like a Dril tweet

When you have a good dream, but wake up wanting to dance on train tracks so you’re like “Oh no! Not good! At least I have my weed! Then the first thing on your feed is this suggested to you from a poetry page that shares your Ex’s first name

me<3

girl dinner

I need to do a bar rescue kitchen nightmares mashup song

Why do the deranged crackheads that get fired from my workplace keep insisting that I’m their new best friend

when he pets your head and calls you a good girl

hey google what is the healthiest menthol cigarette

watching kitchen nightmares and bar rescue on 2x speed is so fucking funny especially when the screaming starts

i have decided to not have feelings today