𝓬𝓵𝓸𝓪𝓬𝓪 ⭐️ 𝓳𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼

love when a bug crawls across my floor like it pays rent.
ok king. slay

*taps mic* MY PORN NOUNS ARE….PRON NOUN….NAUUUUNNNN

most people’s higher self coming through in their thoughts: you are worthy of love and good things :)

Mine: you CAN eat a whole bag of milanos in one go :) you just have to Believe :)

PUT 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 IN YOUR SKIBIDI TOILET AND FLUSH IT MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!

two fingers gun to the temple hand gesture is out. two fingers gun in the mouth is in.

you’re alone in a parked car with the AC on and your favorite music. you fart. it’s 90°F (32°C) outside so you cannot open the windows to refresh the air inside.

Hell hell hell hell hell hell

broke: taking off all your rings and bracelets to pleasure a vagina

woke: taking off all your rings and bracelets to WIPE YOUR ASS

new thing: celibacy mondays. no whacking off and no sexuals. it’s good for your muscles

raw sex implies the existence of cooked sex

2 the 2ne of the Bob the builder theme song

Mari-juana
Can it fix me?!?
Mari-juana
Yes it can!!!!!

I JUST WANT A PUP CUP IS THAT SUCH A FUCKING CRIME

My bogos will forever remain unbinted

I had something funny to post on here but then I Forgor

BAL so hard they call me LATRO
She had three cheese
so I served her CUATRO

call me a joker
cuz I’m good with my hands
plus mult or times mult
I score with my stans

I’M Z00T3D

sometimes I’ll just Be sitting Around and forget I have free will. and then I remember I can Move Freely Around the Map and go smoke weed. every time it’s smoke weed

cut or uncut

now I lay me down to poop
I pray the lord my ass to scoop
if I cum before I wake
Wipe off my dik for goodness sake

I have the zoomies and it’s terminal

it hurts to fart and to be really honest I don’t even wanna know what’s up with my ass 😬 that’s between my ass hole and his maker 😮‍💨

IS A BLU SKY TWEET REALLY CALLED A SKEET I AM LOSING MYFUCKING MIND

being sober is hard but it SURE beats doing lines of yayo off a textbook for a class you’re failing 🥴

I crave cheesed burger pâpâ

Æ Æ æ I see a Bugatti

DO you ever freak out about possibly having pinworms or do I need to go to the shrink again

CHOMP TUAH BITE OFF THAT THANG

Weed really does make you stupid you know. Does that stop me. Of course not

(I’m going to repost many of my last tweets. To infect you)

I CANT BELIEVE IT BUT HERE WE FUCKING ARE I GUESS.