“You can’t PROVE Jazz, can you?”

Henry: “What is Kombucha?”
Mike: “No-one knows.”

“Yeah, ‘cause if you shag a swan, you get a cow headed man. Everyone knows that, that’s simple genetics.”

Henry: “It seems like a normal job, with good pay and benefits…”
Ben: “Until she’s asked to wank off a monster!”

"It'll be simpler if I just lather you myself."

“So we went to a small town called, [Insert Town Name]!”

“It's quite weird actually to see somebody who is actually THAT to scale.”

“Paul Scracker's Hot Crackers.”

“Can I have a pint of “Yeah Yeah Whatever”?“

“You're not telling me there's no penis cannon! Is this a joke?”

*heavy sigh from Mike*

“Are you now just sadistically sending John Robins off on fruit missions?“

Mike : “And a dump truck ass?”
Ben: “I've already got that Mike. That's all natural! Beep Beep!”

“Good NOW to you, Podcast Generation.”

“Well the idea is to make the first fully breathable outdoor cassock...”

“Ham Salad: Ice Blast! The new drink for the summer!”

”The Exe of course is a river named by Elon Musk.“

“I don’t want the power of a God, I’m trying to weigh a cat!“

“I commend to the House that we should allow ostriches to copulate with pandas!”

“Pomelo, your spine! Think of your spine!”

Henry: "Have you SEEN Paddington?"
Mike : "YES! Have you SEEN it?"

“And I've got some scrumpy warming on my radiator.“

“We can either Google it or wait for a bollocking.”

“So the reason that the Swiss aren’t the world power, is because they were spending too much time perfecting - which they have done - Milka chocolate - which is perfection in chocolate form.“

“Who trusts the Trust Pilot?“

“Throughout our lives, we’re all building an internal brain hoof…“

“It is the hot pipe.”

“Uncle Phil, the Security Geese have seen me!”