Noah

And more, much more than this, I did it my way.

I really worried my days of circuit riding in Texas were over when I moved downtown, but I very happily was mistaken. Look out, county seats, Noah is on the road. Gonna hit three of them in one trip.

“Orange Man Bad.”

“Oh-ho. You say that, but have you reconstructed the universe from first principles?”

“Uh… no?”

*50,000 man hours and eight hundred trillion gazillion computers later*

“Well, what’s the result?”

“…Orange Man Bad.”

@thefoxmother.bsky.social

He swims through floodwaters at the end, desperately searching for his parents to save, only to find the house condemned and realizing that with every passing generation “all the children are grown ups, all the grown ups are old folks and all the old folks are dead.”

Someone really ought to do a modern version of THE SWIMMER except it’s a series of summertime soirées of nouveau riche Jews starting at the protagonist’s West U McMansion and ending at his parents’ Meyerland ranch house.

I am a dead ringer for my father and we are in the same line of work, so comparisons are often made. But those who know me know my personality is all mom’s. Dad is friends with everyone. Mom is friends with her parents’ friends’ kids, her grandparents’ friends’ grandkids.

The biggest thesis in all my books is: the kid might idolize his self-made Jewish professional father but he will have a more similar upbringing to his old family Catholic, preparatory alumna mother and end up far more like her.

Primary Schumer. “What the fuck, Chuck?”

Joe Biden we shouldn’t have laughed at you in 2016 when you wanted to go back behind the gym. Truly a prophet.

So happy Jim Crane got to play Kirkland brand Jerry Jones.

Everything is terrible and it will keep getting worse.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

Well, have fun with the new NLRB next month, boys. I’m sure your good buddy Jeff will have lots of useful suggestions for our new president. After all, there was no difference between candidates, right?

In 2017, they played Game 7 on the radio on Christmas.

Eh. Gertrude Stein infamous coined “Lost Generation” a full 100 years ago. Same as it ever was.

You pay to get on the bus and the train just sort of does the halfassed honor system

The original gender neutral bathroom

You mean 48% approval.

Folks I cannot do another four years of treating Gabriel Sherman’s hallucinogenic fan fiction as real.

How do I walk across this sky bridge ?

Is there a way to use an application to automatically find everyone you follow at the other place and follow them?

Today the sun sets on my fourth year of practice. Next week, circumstance will lead me to work out of offices on Pennsylvania and Park Avenues. 60 years ago my father slept in a garage during high school. My grandfather was a schmattaman. What a journey.

You are a deeply stupid, stupid, harmful person. A sentient version of the Dunning Krueger complex. All of your ideas have been trite and facile at the best and directly responsible for death and suffering in the worst.

Hi Jeff. You blocked me on Twitter after I reminded you that your March 2020 pronouncement that a Covid vaccine would be impossible to make was deeply stupid and malicious and directly led to many people’s deaths. Anyway, go fuck yourself you have blood on your hands you ghoulish dipshit.

I honestly couldn’t tell you the current best writer on Scotus. Just that Gorsuch is the worst.

More or less

“Everywhere the light touches is Texas.”
“What about that dark spot?”
“That is Dallas, Simba. You must never go there.”

(I inexplicably have been blessed with like the world’s happiest home life but I don’t subject my perfect and brilliant better half to the Hellscape that is Online.)

All this is to say I shitpost about Houston mainly, but also Supreme Court cases, very obscure Texas procedural law, the Astros, my poodle Magnolia and I Think You Should Leave memes.

I used to write, consult, write again, lobby, write a third time and consult again about local politics in Houston. It was a fun thing to do while I was a totally outrageous and out of control kid. I am now slightly more in control, and practice law, sometimes appellate, mostly law lawyer stuff.