Classic MacGruber

The word on the street is that she stopped *9* wars.

El Matador strikes again!

"Fork in the road" approaching.

Antifa warlords, watching while a city burns.

I'm thinking that hair just might be a rug.

And he got Bin Laden!

I thought Newsom had it in the bag

I'm not a doctor, but I *did* stay at a Hampton Inn.

Red dial? I guess that tells me who gave Trump the idea.

"Gobbling"? It doesn't take a whole lot of acetaminophen at once to cause liver failure, so that would be a bigger concern than autism.

Even if you were into this kind of thing, you would be crazy to let Elon Musk own your conversations with it.

I wouldn't be surprised if RFK Jr. has Ashkenazi autism rates committed to memory.

Wrong. It was a centaur, not a horse.

Press conference to show the trailer for her new documentary

Especially if Tranbo has that deep Stallone voice.

I would watch this movie.

Next month, it'll be DB Cooper

"So let's get cracking on having Lee Greenwood take over the Superbowl halftime show instead of Bad Bunny."

He's a dark clown - instead of pulling out a multicolored stream of handkerchiefs, he rips out the entire all-black lining of his jacket.

She can finally say that she's been in the shit. It changes a person, y'know.

I had read that he wanted to take a more cautious, legal route while Musk wanted "CHAINSAWWWWW!!" and won out. Vivek can at least carve out a unique spot for himself - who else in the GOP is pitching a strategy of not reflexively being an asshole?

This payroll crap is going to be tied up in courts for years.

Where are the Goodfellas dinners he was expecting?

All the power of AI, and that's the best they can do? At least give her an Adam's apple to stir the pot a bit.

They've claimed their war prizes.

It's a bit of a stretch, but "National Lampoon's Animal House" led to a ton of shitty "National Lampoon's" films. A couple of the "Vacation" movies were good, but the rest is all passable.

They need one for comic relief.

I could just do without the semi-nude selfies showing up in my Discover feed. Sometimes I swear clicking "Show me less of this" makes it show more.

Why not just dig up Pat Boone?

"B-b-but he said he was only going to be dictator for one day!"