Baddie Baddie Shot O’Clock

Ever since I was a child, I knew I wanted to be a chop hoe

Hey we’re shitting where we eat tonight if you wanna pull up

It’s almost like she hates saving money she’s always buying some bullshit 😭

My mother has bought a Ring camera for the front door. Which I’m sure will attract more package stealers to our front door and not less.

a woman in a blue dress and black jacket is walking down a street . Alt: Anora from Anora happily going somewhere

Eating all of the bad tasting gummy vitamins first so all the good ones get eaten last

a cartoon character is sitting at a table with a yellow circle in the middle . Alt: a cartoon character is sitting at a table with a yellow circle in the middle eating sandwich before being gagged by new information.

Woman who gave me my flu shot said it wouldn’t hurt and that it doesn’t mean anything but I saw her unscrew the top of her head and swap processors while she thought I wasn’t looking…

Sometimes you think youre bisexual when you really just need to pee

Daniel Craig got his youth stolen and now he’s too old to be bisexual

a cartoon man in a suit and tie is standing in a doorway holding a bat . Alt: Ms puff in a padded room

Forgot dr pepper had caffeine and drank a full bottle before bed so now im lying here like

100 year old Chosen One still fulfills the Prophecy the old-fashioned way

Lana Del Ray’s album cover for Did You Know Theres A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd

Did You Know They’re Serving Nonbinary Tea Under The Clairo Shade At The Chile Cafe?

If they made Brisk Raspberry Iced Tea flavored coke i’d snort

My daily vocabulary app is arming me for war

Seeing ppl’s likes again is making me go crazy like we’re finally home

The Oracle deemed you nonbinary many moons ago. You can only defy the Prophecy for so long.

Some people’s coming out is funny. I could have told you that.

brand new diner serves coke the normal way

Joshing Josh Peck’s pecker until he drakes all on my bfuck this. I can’t do this anymore.

“Baby daddy” do you know only have 30 minutes left?

I think I’d rather run the gauntlet of saw traps than see a lot of words ever again.

That aside my schedule is flipped next semester and now i no longer have a 4 day weekend so i might cry

And being ugly. Like your trauma is valid but at some point you gotta get a grip girl 😭

John Krasinski man of the year feels really dated he hasnt done shit for fuck this year

Anything that reinforces the idea that he can stop stipulating his desire to be a woman and he’s gonna go bob-hunting at a Goodwill

Im not attaching any images but that conservative guy who loves to crossdress and tuck his pronouns in his underwear is going to have a VERY rude awakening if we show him I Saw The TV Glow

The biggest ramification of AI is now I have to say “hilarious IF TRUE” to every funny image i see

Girl whatever

Just took a 3 hour nap and sweated out the rest of my fever im ready to put my pussy out in the world again

The 8th century pilgrim sitting next to me shortcircuited while checking this tweet so i hit send and hit the father son holy spirit

Neglected my assignments this week so i have to lock in tn instead of playing jackbox at the gay club