Namjoon’s Big Brains ⁷

Oh that’s such a fun idea! Galaxy brain, over there.

That looks so good!

That’s awesome!

Small but definite joy: got a whole 3 seat row to myself on this plane for this final work trip of 2025.

Napped, horizontally(!), rather than working.

Down with hypervigilance! ❤️‍🩹

Oh man, that’s *such* a good insight. I don’t let many of my IRLs in on the marriage stuff bc it’s a drag & we have so little time together socially during this life stage. But I do have a couple of folks who help pull me out some. My therapist is #1, though. I am so grateful to have found her.

just remember that when jimin drunk-texted us at 5am after talking with namjoon all night after hobi's concert on festa, he ended with: "namjooie-hyung really loves ARMY the most, seriously"

even at his sloppiest, he wanted us to know. just imagine what namjoon said about us that night. come on.

I bring him up, like, 1% of the times I think about him. A great example of restraint!!!

Oh shit oh shit oh shit the pic on the left just ended me.

This is the second most dangerous Seokjin in history. It has appeared nearly a decade after maximum danger Seokjin (green shirt fan meeting Seokjin).

a senior shiba inu is bundled into a basket on the front of a blue bicycle. the bottom of the basket is wicker, but the top two-thirds is a wide wire mesh. the dog’s fluffy fur pokes through the squares of the wire, giving her back and booty the distinct appearance of a golden honey glazed ham. her front paws stick up over the top edge of the basket, and she’s looking forward toward the next adventure.

This is Uni. She has ridden to work with her human every day in their bike basket for the last seven years. Has been offered many other forms of transportation, but refuses them all in favor of the Honey Baked Ham Express. 14/10 #SeniorPupSaturday (IG: unihalo)

or maybe things will shift.

One can never fully describe their lives online, and I don’t want to do that, anyway. There are reasons I am still in it. There are reasons I might not be forever. I don’t want advice. If you’re younger, know that every partner will come with pluses and minuses. 🤷‍♀️ )

I’ll be here, trying the same thing in my much tinier life.

Anyway sorry to have journaled here in public. But it is helpful to sort of integrate my experience alongside someone I admire so much. 🥹

(And as for my marriage, whatever, man. Things have seasons, and maybe this whole marriage is one,+

Namjoon has moments where he claims his art and his adulthood (and that of the members) while simultaneously doing the emotional labor of stressing about ARMYs’ feelings. I guess I wish for him to do a little less of that, for his health.

To the extent that he wants to do less of it, +

And they’re pretty stuck with it.

But still, you can hear moments where Namjoon says that he has to be real with us that echo what my therapist told me yesterday, that it’s MY life & MY family & MY house & I need to live within them fully as myself, even if Mr. Disregulation over there frowns.+

The public idol life they live, where people over interpret each move, combined with Joon’s extreme levels of empathy means they probably spend a lot of time disassociating, floating above themselves and watching, as the public, as ARMY, as haters, etc.

It’s not healthy. It’s stressful.+

I mean, mostly nothing and this is parasocial bullshit. BUT I am glad that Namjoon is being transparent about his own struggles. I would name some of the ruminating he does as hypervigilance.+

This other adult can suffer consequences. They can get their feelings hurt. I don’t have to tiptoe around them. But I affirmatively have to stop because it is hurting my body. It is very stressful to be hypervigilant. Chronic stress causes illness.

Ok so what is the connection to Bangtan? +

I have slowly stopped worrying about career stuff (I’m at the peak, anyway), and it’s been nice. I do less, I say less, but not in a self censoring way. In an IDGAF way.

This week, my therapist told me I have to stop with the hypervigilance around another adult’s emotional state. A revelation.+

I have spent DECADES hypervigilant. Hypervigilant over my own behavior & public perception. Hypervigilant over my spouse’s emotional state and lurking disregulation. Hypervigilant over my kids’ emotional state and disregulation. And hypervigilant over student reactions to me given current politics.+

Add to that my ability to be able to see a situation from everyone’s perspective, & my marriage to someone who (1) can’t do that, (2) isn’t the best parent as a result, and (3) gets extremely disregulated without sensing it coming, especially when it comes to parenting. (My marriage is a struggle.)+

(Funny that, since I don’t even have a Wikipedia page, though many women don’t.)

So I felt like any move I made, including in fandom spaces, could blow up and cause trouble for the elected officials who had trusted me and given me power, for my employer, and of course, for myself. +

Idk whether I’ll get around to doing a coherent one later, so here’s some “dogshit reflections” (thx Joonie, for that phrase) for now.

I have sort of a public job. Like, for a while, when you googled me, Google itself had summarized my career and work and presented me as a “public figure.” +

I want to make a post / thread about hypervigilance and how I think the next sort of mental journey I’ll be taking alongside Bangtan (esp Namjoon) is to leave hyper-vigilance behind as much as possible and just refuse to live that way. +

Thank you, TK! 💜

RM Live - 12/6 RM unpacks a lot.. but as always ARMY is happy to listen 💜🫰🏻

RM's Live transcribed (free for all) please feel free to circulate/screenshot/link (WITH LINK & CREDIT PLEASE!) to this translation for ALL THE WORLD because he does not stutter when he speaks on things that are on his mind today!

Me 🤝 Namjoon

Moving right past all the good comments to fixate on the single bad one.

(Also I really wish pot were legal in Korea. A lil’ corner of an edible helps so much with sleep when I go too many weeks without good sleep. Poor Joonie.)

YouTube video by HYBE BOY BTS RM Opens Up: The Most Honest Weverse Live of 2025 (Full Translation & Reaction)

Watching HYBE BOY’s breakdown of Namjoon’s live and let me say…

If I were a zillionaire artist whose sleep problems returned because of entitled fans, you wouldn’t hear from me for years. My ass would be in the Swiss Alps for summer and the tropics for winter.

Bangtan are much nicer than me.

I remember seeing someone a while ago say that Hobi bears the burden of being the only naturally cool person in a group of giant nerds, and never has this been more readily visible than while watching him trying to process Super Tuna

I’m so sorry, Jenny. Wishing you ease and loads of distraction in these weeks between diagnosis and treatment decisions. Bless you.