I can think of nothing more romantic than eating gas station taquitos with my wife in the parking lot behind the office where we work like like two little dumpster rats

I don't enjoy video games like I used to and it's breaking my heart

I miss being a NEET

Got an office at work now so you know I be in here farting 10 hours a day

maybe I do fuck with cucumber

VOLITION - In honour of your will, lieutenant-yefreitor. That you kept from falling apart, in the face of sheer terror. Day after day. Second by second.

INLAND EMPIRE - DETECTIVE

ESPRIT DE CORPS - ARRIVING

AUTHORITY - ON THE SCENE

I GOT
TWO
PHONES
THERE WAS A DEAL
AND I WANTED PHONES

Love to eat lunch in my car where I can be a fat whore in peace

I was born in the wrong generation, I know I was meant to have an armored carapace and bony club-like tail

singlehandedly displayed how to shut down bad faith debate

got a papilloma type thing cut off my eyelid today and they had to cauterize it because it was bleeding like crazy and I now understand why people say you'll be haunted by the smell of burning human flesh for the rest of your life because that shit smelled just like grilled ham

The secret to fake pooping at work is to crop dust the bathroom on your way out to really keep em guessing

my favorite genre of TNG episode is Riker Banged a Chick With a Latex Forehead and Now the Entire Crew Is Addicted to the 3D Printed Orgasm Headset

feels great to be the closest I have ever been to having my shit together right as the collapse of modern society hits

I didn't do it, I'm a fraud

So excited to go home and fix shit in my new air fryer

I pledge in this very moment that if I ever see one of these things in real life I will kill it with a hammer

Waiter! More howling misery!

big Italian sandwich

Time to go to work in the shit factory!

Crypto guy in 2014: Crypto will revolutionize finance and change how we interact with money

Crypto in 2025:

never kill yourself

An edited screenshot of Final Fantasy VII. Cloud and the party stands before a giant impaled snake creature with the textbox reading "Did DEI...do this?"

peeled both of my mandarins in one piece today, soon I will be powerful enough to kill God

Ultraman (1966)
Episode 11

Turn from the ruin. Turn and go *forward*.

pooping at work rules