Wintzards of the Coast

Traveling Botanist: im thinking the next big industry is dog humanization services. surgery to make dogs look like a man, stand upright, etc. its what they want

Ajani, Nacatl Avenger: "horny" has killed more people than all the volcanos on earth combined

Chain Reaction: "this is going to sound so cool" i rev the engine and it explodes, leaving me rolling around on the road with a smouldering dick & ass crack

Reject Imperfection: looking how to become more cyber

Barrage Ogre: 100% body fat, 49 year old, normal Male. good at turning purple while lifting boulders and dropping them in ex-wife's driveway. Army strong

Rapid Hybridization: how do i morph

Mocking Sprite: i respect youir beliefs so much (jack off motion) theres no possible way your opinion can totally suck me Hard

Dryad of the Ilysian Grove: they are trying to make the 2020s the decade of Nude

Spider-Verse: "multi verse" fuck your self. you`re only allowed to have one universe per costumed dipshit. absolutely none of this is my problem

Tragic Poet: "buckwild" or "hogwild"?? im writing a poem for my gf

Tidal Force: i was bullied and tortured at school because i was the only kid with a waterbed. so i got surgery and became a waterbed. suck my cock trolls

Agoraphobia: i go outside for the rfirst time in 7 years and a biplane immediately shoots a chemtrail at my dick and makes it 2 inches shorter. typical

Elusive Tormentor: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

Sonic Assault: (plays some Tchaikovsky records at the highest possible volume) ah it sucks ass. but my IQ is increasing so much

Miasmic Mummy: you say you smoke two packs a day? two packs of what, pal? shit?

Falco Spara, Pactweaver: my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat

Hound Tamer: i would not discount pua techniqes just b/c girls are wise to them now. for instance,w. a few modifications i can use them to rear pit bulls

Thirst for Knowledge: to my mates online: im raising $1900 so i can drink a ton of olive oil to see if it turns to shit when i shit it out or just stays olive oil

Force Void: i consider protected, locked accounts, to be the most Powerful accounts... for it is they who have Blocked the entire world

Recruit the Worthy: a cool prank is to convince someone to join the Armed Forces and watch them get spooked by guns & missiles in exchange for hollow gratitude

Psychic Possession: the human mind... perhaps the most powerful weapon. second only to the "GUN"

Deadly Designs: were at the point now, folks, twhere the CIA will kill you for having Opinions, but refuse to assassinate the nitwits who fuck with my Page.

Spontaneous Combustion: sorry. i can't come to work today because my fat little penis got blown off by a stick of TNT , in the war we just lost because of me .

Dark Ritual: me & the boys will be holding hands., forming a Covenant Ring, to protest girls who only want to fuck the main pirate from the pirate movies

Inga and Esika: if i dont get into Heaven ill just use the rainbow bridge that dogs use. and ill push as many animals off the bridge as i can in the process

Elvish Piper: thinking of becoming a "Pipes" dipshit

Joven: ((attempts to dress up for hte first time in my life to attend Grandmas funeral but ends up looking like a school shooter from the matrix)

Teferi, Master of Time: before you threaten to "Pimp slap" me, please remember that i am a police officer of the law, on at least four separate timeline's

King Macar, the Gold-Cursed: if i had $1000000, or even $100000, i'd marry a woman with a completely unfuckable, solid gold Pussy. and i would look at it and say "Wow"

Strixhaven Stadium: the crack of the bat. the scent of a verdant field. The excitement of the crowd. These are the things that piss base ball fans off the most