cbh

I've definitely seen it now how delicate my body is to any kind of changes. I feel like everything and anything just messes me up completely and it takes months and months to years to sorta recover. In short; I hate having a uterus, never did anything good for me.

Also, I feel like clawing my face off when the meds that I'm taking are supposed to help with my mood, but are instead completely messing my hormones up, and the symptoms that follow have been frustrating and sapping my sanity lol

Unfortunately dunno if I have much choice there, but we'll see..

I'm so fucking tired. I've never been this tired in my life.

I have been alternating between survival mode and work-till-you-die mode nonstop since last october and I'm just... mcfucking done.

I just want this to end. I think I've had enough hardship in my life overall, when does it get good? :[

Also, I'm really excited to experience Connecticut fall :}

The only thing stopping me from walking outside for hours every single day is the weather...and bad shoes.

I really can't wait for fall.....

Like today, it wasn't too hot outside, but the humidity made it suffocating. I'm so done with summerrrrr please endddd

no more meat for you

I have a birthday coming up in a month, and that makes me feel even more like just... a failure I guess?
Getting close to 40 and absolutely nothing to show for it, just kinda stranded at the ruins of my life and with this newfound freedom I have -zero- clue what to do with it.

I'm so tired, folks.

Every time I feel like it's finally my turn to be happy it just gets taken away instantly. I'm so sososososo tired and spent.

nothing happens immediately. Friendships need time to be cultivated, and it takes time to find the 'right' kind of people.

In the meanwhile I have nothing to really look forward to in my everyday life. All that's waiting for me is work. So, the same old story I've been living all my adult life.

moved in together - my partner is still extremely dear to me, but yeah it's just different now. And they have their own very active life.

Nothing is the same anymore, and I no longer have even family in this country.

It's very crushing feeling, and while I'm really trying to make my own way-

Been struggling again. I guess it comes and goes.
I said it before but I feel very lonely and isolated. I realized I don't currently have a best friend? I lost one forever, one is very far away so we don't talk necessarily even weekly, and with one I live with, but that dynamic changed the second we

Silly doodle (based on the second image) of @poltergeist.elderscrolls.social's Hawke, from our dnd campaign.

He's just an innocent bystander stuck in a prison cell rn

As someone who is actually going through divorce because of infidelity; it doesn't cost me anything to be happy for my friends, family or strangers that they've found their happiness. I'd rather take part in it than be a miserable killjoy.

Rather, it just makes me hopeful to hear stories like this.

I honestly think one of the healthiest, most beautiful habits a person can have is to truly feel joy for someone else. Their happiness or success isn’t competition—it’s something to celebrate with them.

Again, just lamenting on personal level, I know this has much wider impacts, especially to small businesses.

Have to start traveling back more and come back with an extra luggage, at some point it'll be cheaper to just do that (these online stores sell these goods with a rather nice markup anyway)

and have been eagerly waiting for weather to get cooler so I can order something again (chocolate etc melts in hot summer months).

Idk, it's been a lifeline in all my years away, and despite the 15% tariff increase, I'll continue to order...will just mean much less going forward : (

So I guess at the end of August the tariff exemptions for imports less than $800 is ending, everywhere...

Feeling it on a personal level, I've been importing goodies every now and then from my home country. It's already been very expensive and I do it only couple times a year..

I have another research like this, so if you wanna, you can add me :]

Everyday I pray for shiny Blitzle or shiny Wooloo in Pokemon Go...

But I think I probably used up a good bunch of my shiny hunting luck with that random encounter galarian Zapdos (tho I have read it's 1/20 chance, but on the other hand it's a very rare insence spawn)

In other news, I saw a cute little dachshund puppy today... I was walking home and the puppy ran after me, and eagerly jumped around me, and I stopped for the owner to catch up with him.

The puppy's name?
Slinky TwT

And I think that's all something to be bit proud of.

I'm strong and resilient.

Extremely exhausted, but...I'm surviving.

Recently I had to remind my therapist that I'm not even 5 months in of being away from my ex, and she was like "....oh...that's right" and she realized she's been pushing me tiny bit too hard so early on. But she said that she forgot that because I've been improving so much.

Was just reflecting on events on the past year, and without going into it too much right now...
I was just thinking how it's actually pretty amazing that I'm not completely fucked up rn.

I think there has been some grounds for me to completely mcfucking lose it on every account, but...here I am.

nwn smeeeooochhhhh!!! ❤

Summer needs to be over asap. I hate the cycles of couple days of unbearable heat and humidity, followed by few days of the nicest, mellow summer days, to just go back to the heat+humidity.

Local gal finds out being outside is actually nice and good for your mh, gets punished by summer.

Engraved line of chinese poetry captioned "Stroking the sword while lamenting the social realities" (tE 剑伤世路），engravedbyShen Qianqiu. Ming Dynasty (Fig. 14)

Who up stroking they sword while lamenting social realities

I mean, yeah all this is valid too, but I think 3 weeks is bit too much