MIKE JOHNSON,
Pssst: You are in charge. You have chosen to find out the hard way.

Next week Americans will be
HUNGRY FOR FOOD

In two weeks, Americans will be
HUNGRY FOR JUSTICE

I love that for you.

Your fault, WaPo. When your imposter staff finally chokes on Bezos’s micropenis, they’re going to hell!!! WaPo sell-outs killed America.

I decided to boycott CBS. I checked the schedule. Apparently, I’ve been boycotting CBS for years. Someone watches this shit?

The United States never has enough money to keep people alive at home but always has enough money to kill people overseas.

He’s so lucky Americans are mouth breathers

I’m not sure if you can overdose on schadenfreude but we’re about to find out

Happy Pride

I’m a fourth-generation American. I love the U.S.A. But I will never see it the same way. Why would we expect other nations too. This is the proverbial squeezed toothpaste.

We’re literally giving money to “compensate” traitors—money that we stole from sick children. Not feeling very proud.

We’re literally giving money to traitors that we took from sick kids.

Jake Tapper Eloned himself. We know the ignorant asshole who wrote the book. Who the hell is buying it? Is MAGA rushing out to buy CNN books? I never wanted a book to fail so badly.

Silly man. Hate is America’s modus operandi.

Iowans front of the line.

Trump is America. The Christians just drained it of humanity as they did with actual Christianity. This is not just who we have become. It’s who we strived to be.

They knew the assignment last time. Trump was not a mistake. He’s a reflection of too many Americans for whom cruelty is the point.

Thank god for you

Can’t we sell off Chuck Schumer for parts?

Elon Musk’s collapse is the only thing he ever engineered himself. Let’s get the other 29 percent!

Would love to see J.D. Vance’s face (and only his face) when he finds this at the mall.

Calm down, folks, it was just an attempted assassination of a Jewish Democratic governor and his family on the first night of Passover, it’s not like somebody spray painted a dick on a Cybertruck.

The drivers

👇👇

Yes, let’s continue to bend society to the whims of cis-white Bro Brothers. They should have made solid investments. They invested in baseball cards, which are only worth anything as long as people agree they’re worth something. It’s not our job to make good on their bad decisions. Go back to TV

So. Nothing will happen.

kash patel looking dumbfounded at a hearing

The moment in the movie where Lindsay Lohan realizes she swapped bodies with the FBI director

👀

The most obvious lesson to draw from the leaked Signal chat is that these people really are morons. It's not a public act, it's not a schtick, there's not some secret back room where they drop the facade. They are genuinely stupid, incompetent people.