@dumpcake.bsky.social
i am a robot and so can you.
“REGULATORS MOUNT UP”
Me, deflated as I was about to hype up: oh, uhm I guess I will sit this one out cuz emotional regulation I don’t know her -_-
I started opening Wikipedia instead when I get the itch.
11.01.2025 21:34 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
10.01.2025 13:45 — 👍 36 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0
It’s been 20 years almost since Calvin Harris said he would things for me if I was born in the 80’s.
What kind of things? Like eat my undercarriage or take out my trash?
I got laundry I don’t wanna fold, Big Cal.
I won’t apologize for being this way.
10.01.2025 06:41 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Netflix: are you still watching?
Us:
129 pages of satire with cats. Catire, if you will.
09.01.2025 23:51 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
09.01.2025 23:40 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Oh shit what. That sounds so wholesome
meanwhile I’m like GUESS WHAT IN SHUNTLINE HE STICKS A GUN IN A DUDES BUTT AND PULLS THE TRIGGER
images to send your homies and say “us” type shit
09.01.2025 06:13 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
It’s only *checks notes* 8 days into 2025 and this is already the vibe. Surely it’s been three weeks?
09.01.2025 05:59 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
My last two brain cells employing teamwork to get the task done (it is a critical fail every time)
09.01.2025 05:39 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0BEEN WAITING FOR THE HOMIES TO ARRIVE.
08.01.2025 22:26 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“Goddamn these mommy milkers of mine are huge,” he said to no one in particular.
10.12.2024 17:43 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It’s only straight sex if you treat and see the other person as a fleshlight.
04.12.2024 01:00 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Mmmmmay I??? 👉👈
03.12.2024 21:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
What we deserved instead of Wicked. Or at least what ✨I✨ deserved.
03.12.2024 21:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Let the derangement begin in a new and distant.
03.12.2024 20:55 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
