Cornopolous

Im so very, very sorry. Blessings to her, and those she helped.

I was worried that everyone was going to think it was an infinite jest reference so I wore my jacket with the Sylvia Plath backpatch

Omg that’s completely true and how it is. It’s lurking

There’s a very small demographic of people that still use the word crunk and I’d like to say that’s a solid word you should stand by.

You don’t go to war with the Gary Busey teeth you want, you go to war with the Gary Busey teeth you have.

I just read every reply and it’s just fantastic. All of them. No wrong takes at all, lmao.

Stopping stock buybacks solves half the problem. Guillotines solve the other half.

I’ve always, forever just looked at it as the best athletes on earth in a true competition, trying to peak at exactly the right time against one another and they’re on teams. Like they do. All the teams have colors, as they do. It’s super awesome. I frigging love this so much.

Every iPhone update makes it worse

And the stock buybacks to make our oligarchs even wealthier to rule over us

Met a 5yo named Rhonda and she's already up to 2½ packs of cigarettes a day

I used Irish Spring for years until one day it started making me heave. Feta started doing that too. Now I can't keep either in my shower.

Talk to me in Boontling, Baby.

33 years here but from back east, Midwest, az, all over before that

Perfect!

Getting PTSD tonight
(Party Time San Diego)

My brother in KROQ

Tonight is The Feast of 6 Chupacabras… celebrate accordingly

And 6 nations rugby tournament just starting!

22-0, France at the half.
Irish fullback for 40 minutes: “oh shit oh fuck bloody hell oh no”
They need to start tackling

Oh I'm sorry I can't make it, I'm busy making up songs to sing to my dogs

France up 12 nil over Ireland 23:05 first half.

Get stretched out and put a tv near you on if possible. France v Ireland kicking off the 6 nations in an hour!

They're keelhauling you in the pirate groupchat, bro. They're calling you a l*nd-l*bber.

My agent set me up with interviews on radio row this week but all got cancelled because, “Apparently no one cares about team handball.”

A few words and phrases I worry will go out of style: Moxie, dungarees, first-time home buyer, bearded clam, and etc

I’m a leftist type and term limits are the worst thing I’ve ever seen except for the summary executions .

Life was simpler before they stole women’s rights and this cramp in my calf, ow.

If you could put a really small gif between sentences or ideas in a post, (eddiemurphytappinghistemple dot gif) it could make some posts funnier

I quit heroin because my company tests regularly for poppy seeds in your system and it turns out it gives a positive.