Matt Oswalt

bullshit. Netflix has to bend the knee to Trump to get his approval for the Netlix/Warner merge so don't be surprised if Trump receives an honorary Academy Award and the Oscars are changed to the "Trumpies"

Sarandos and Zaslov won't stop until they turn the New Beverly into a Spirit Halloween Store

on the 405 and just got cut off by the CEO of Sleepytime Tea

John Sayles

🎵Sweet dreams you can't resist...N-E-S-T-L-E-S🎵

Fisher Stevens in 2 of my favorite underrated 80s movies- Flamingo Kid and My Science Project (he plays the same character in both)

🎵It's the most Jollibee time of the year🎵

this is like a monologue Bialystock & Bloom would add to Springtime for Hitler after opening night was an unexpected hit.

BOEBERT: "Sorry, Mr President, but removing my name from the petition goes against everything I believe as a devout Christian and unapologetic defender of woman."

TRUMP: "I'll appoint you ambassador of Sandals Resort."

BOEBERT: "Pass me the white-out."

driving thru Beverly Hills after dentist appointment and mouth still droopy from novocaine I pulled next to a famous actress I've crushed on since I was a teen and I've never felt more like Judge Reinhold from Fast Times in my life.
....and I wasn't even wearing a pirate costume

what did the foreign types with the hookah pipes say?

my God, she's gonna chop off Paul Sheldons other foot, isn't she

there's no greater indicator of how damaging the Epstein files are to Trump and the entire MAGA movement than the total 180 Marjorie Taylor Greene has done since seeing them.

Ash when the Alien bursts out of Kane's chest

did my civic duty.
voted then picked up this lime scooter some commie bastard left lying across the sidewalk.
you're welcome, America.

guy wearing MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN HAT and TRUMP 2028 neck tattoo at Piggly Wiggly finding out his food stamps are no longer valid

ladies, if anyone calls your Halloween costume 'slutty' just tell them you're dressed as a recently widowed Evangelical Christian

Happy 4th of July or as dogs call it, K9/11

BREAKING: Alderaan Senator lobbies to change name of Death Star to "Boom Moon"

guy wearing MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN HAT and TRUMP 2028 neck tattoo at Piggly Wiggly finding out his food stamps are no longer valid

suspect identified as Greg Gardens

(forgive me, the world is collapsing and all I've got in my arsenal is a $40 gift card to Cheesecake Factory and obscure movie references that maybe 10 people will get)

the McRib must be back

they should show it as a double feature with Scum

Trump upon hearing the assassinations in Minnesota have upstaged his big boy birthday parade

unlike Vietnam or Afghanistan at least the Marines coming to.L.A. know exactly what this fight is all about

FOX News desperately trying to make a Rodney King riot out of a Donna Martin Graduates chant

this YouTube video of Stretch Armstrong in a microwave has over 60 million views
I swear if YouTube was around when I was a kid I'd be richer than Mr. Beast

don't worry everyone, I'm certain this feud between the adderall junkie with the nuclear codes and the ketamine addict with all our social security numbers is just a tiny bump in the road towards American prosperity and greatness

it's like the bees from My Girl have turned on each other and I'm trying to figure out which one to root for

the only certainties in life are death, taxes, and if you sit at an outdoor café in the valley Jay Leno will drive by