Alabaster Chortle's Avatar

Alabaster Chortle

@beastbannon.bsky.social

I do podcasts and stuff. Co-host of The Jaymeson Tapes and UCA.

43 Followers  |  59 Following  |  55 Posts  |  Joined: 15.11.2024  |  1.7212

Latest posts by beastbannon.bsky.social on Bluesky

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OPERATION THROBBING WAND

OPERATION BACKDOOR DELIGHT

OPERATION BIG TWITCHING GLISTENING COCK

18.11.2025 00:05 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Everyone go listen to Candy Licker.

16.10.2025 21:31 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Good news about Ghost of Yotei.

I was worried what with wolves being your characters thing in this game that we’d miss out on the side missions where you give foxes headpats.

The fox headpats are STILL IN TEN OUT OF TEN BEST SEQUEL.

02.10.2025 22:03 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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At the very least I appreciate when this year takes a quick break from being terrible to do something very very silly.

26.09.2025 01:54 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

β€œYou used to be able to say anything” comedians never been more quiet in their lives

18.09.2025 02:14 β€” πŸ‘ 12998    πŸ” 2503    πŸ’¬ 156    πŸ“Œ 63
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There have been no game-breaking glitches.

Only hilarious ones.

GOD SENT ME MY CAR

15.09.2025 20:31 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Okay I got it to happen again.

14.09.2025 04:37 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

The Hatbox Ghost is into it.

13.09.2025 17:35 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Anyway, now for my Ted Talk about how Goro Takemura should be my boyfriend.

13.09.2025 00:53 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Also I did a finisher with the gorilla arms where I uppercut a guys head off and I don’t know if the guy being frozen like this is a glitch because I can’t make it happen again but if it’s on purpose it’s actually kind of awesome.

13.09.2025 00:47 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 1

Been playing Cyberpunk and got to the mission where it said β€˜Hey, heres a bunch of stuff from the show’ so I figured I should probably watch the show.

Cyberpunk Edgerunners is a 10/10 show and also I was unprepared for how relentlessly sad it was. Like from beginning to end.

12.09.2025 20:40 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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β€œI’ve 100% never read the book or even a brief summary of the book or even spoken to someone who has read the book.”
-Someone presumably paid actual money to review movies

03.09.2025 14:03 β€” πŸ‘ 7    πŸ” 4    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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β€œWell that movie was fucking metal.” #Weapons

17.08.2025 07:15 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Brilliant.

11.08.2025 11:31 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

FACTℒ️: when the beach boys sang "round round get a round i get a round" it turns out they just forgot the word for pizza

05.08.2025 01:30 β€” πŸ‘ 405    πŸ” 60    πŸ’¬ 17    πŸ“Œ 1
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a man in a suit is making a funny face and saying oh no ! ALT: a man in a suit is making a funny face and saying oh no !

I can see this gif getting a lot of use today.

24.07.2025 19:36 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Playing through the Alan Wake games and rewatching Twin Peaks and just in general drinking black coffee and talking to myself.

22.07.2025 00:19 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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I’m the kinda person that doesn’t believe in ghosts but would also absolutely never in a million years go on a traveling tour with the notoriously haunted doll that kills people.

18.07.2025 00:41 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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I have no acceptable excuse for why my #2 most listened to song on Apple Music is a Turquoise Jeep song.

It is a banger though.

05.07.2025 03:38 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community

02.07.2025 22:58 β€” πŸ‘ 904    πŸ” 214    πŸ’¬ 11    πŸ“Œ 0

nevertheless Lucas insisted "jizz" wasn't meant to scan dirty, but simply as a SciFi-ification of "jazz." "In my mind," he often said, "the Cantina Band have that same kind of malleable tempo, you know: sloppy seconds."

22.06.2025 02:30 β€” πŸ‘ 129    πŸ” 13    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 0

There is a higher-than-zero percent chance that the new Pope has tasted Malort.

09.05.2025 02:51 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

If there’s one thing I know about Peter Pan, that son of a bitch LOVES standing with his fists on his hips

03.05.2025 23:08 β€” πŸ‘ 1290    πŸ” 118    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

If you replaced Luke Skywalker and Han Solo with Kyle Katarn and Dash Rendar, The original Trilogy would’ve been 45 minutes long, tops.

19.04.2025 02:18 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

HELL πŸ‘πŸ» YES πŸ‘πŸ» A πŸ‘πŸ» R πŸ‘πŸ» G πŸ‘πŸ» WEB πŸ‘πŸ» SITE πŸ‘πŸ» FOR πŸ‘πŸ» A πŸ‘πŸ» FILM πŸ‘πŸ» I πŸ‘πŸ» WAS πŸ‘πŸ» AL πŸ‘πŸ» REA πŸ‘πŸ» DY πŸ‘πŸ» PUMPED πŸ‘πŸ» FOR πŸ‘πŸ»

15.04.2025 09:25 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

The fun thing about me trying to become a β€˜Nu-Metal video Essayist’ is that I get to call the four times I listened to the Breaking Benjamin song from Halo 2 today β€˜research’

04.04.2025 08:34 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Teeth Like God’s Shoeshine probably my favorite opening track of any album ever.

21.03.2025 11:55 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

I post exclusively about Limp Bizkit now.

21.03.2025 11:41 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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I wish I had the confidence of 2000 Fred Durst who got in the booth with DMX, Method Man, and Redman on the Rollin remix and was like β€˜Yeah, I can definitely hang with all these guys’

21.03.2025 11:40 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

If you’re a non-wrestling fan and have a longtime wrestling fan in your life, here’s a fun thing to do if you’re bored:

You can make them weirdly emotional by playing the song β€˜My Way’ by Limp Bizkit around them.

21.03.2025 11:36 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

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