Alabaster Chortle

OPERATION THROBBING WAND

OPERATION BACKDOOR DELIGHT

OPERATION BIG TWITCHING GLISTENING COCK

Everyone go listen to Candy Licker.

Good news about Ghost of Yotei.

I was worried what with wolves being your characters thing in this game that we’d miss out on the side missions where you give foxes headpats.

The fox headpats are STILL IN TEN OUT OF TEN BEST SEQUEL.

At the very least I appreciate when this year takes a quick break from being terrible to do something very very silly.

“You used to be able to say anything” comedians never been more quiet in their lives

There have been no game-breaking glitches.

Only hilarious ones.

GOD SENT ME MY CAR

Okay I got it to happen again.

The Hatbox Ghost is into it.

Anyway, now for my Ted Talk about how Goro Takemura should be my boyfriend.

Also I did a finisher with the gorilla arms where I uppercut a guys head off and I don’t know if the guy being frozen like this is a glitch because I can’t make it happen again but if it’s on purpose it’s actually kind of awesome.

Been playing Cyberpunk and got to the mission where it said ‘Hey, heres a bunch of stuff from the show’ so I figured I should probably watch the show.

Cyberpunk Edgerunners is a 10/10 show and also I was unprepared for how relentlessly sad it was. Like from beginning to end.

“I’ve 100% never read the book or even a brief summary of the book or even spoken to someone who has read the book.”
-Someone presumably paid actual money to review movies

“Well that movie was fucking metal.” #Weapons

Brilliant.

FACT™️: when the beach boys sang "round round get a round i get a round" it turns out they just forgot the word for pizza

a man in a suit is making a funny face and saying oh no ! ALT: a man in a suit is making a funny face and saying oh no !

I can see this gif getting a lot of use today.

Playing through the Alan Wake games and rewatching Twin Peaks and just in general drinking black coffee and talking to myself.

I’m the kinda person that doesn’t believe in ghosts but would also absolutely never in a million years go on a traveling tour with the notoriously haunted doll that kills people.

I have no acceptable excuse for why my #2 most listened to song on Apple Music is a Turquoise Jeep song.

It is a banger though.

But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community

nevertheless Lucas insisted "jizz" wasn't meant to scan dirty, but simply as a SciFi-ification of "jazz." "In my mind," he often said, "the Cantina Band have that same kind of malleable tempo, you know: sloppy seconds."

There is a higher-than-zero percent chance that the new Pope has tasted Malort.

If there’s one thing I know about Peter Pan, that son of a bitch LOVES standing with his fists on his hips

If you replaced Luke Skywalker and Han Solo with Kyle Katarn and Dash Rendar, The original Trilogy would’ve been 45 minutes long, tops.

HELL 👏🏻 YES 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 R 👏🏻 G 👏🏻 WEB 👏🏻 SITE 👏🏻 FOR 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 FILM 👏🏻 I 👏🏻 WAS 👏🏻 AL 👏🏻 REA 👏🏻 DY 👏🏻 PUMPED 👏🏻 FOR 👏🏻

The fun thing about me trying to become a ‘Nu-Metal video Essayist’ is that I get to call the four times I listened to the Breaking Benjamin song from Halo 2 today ‘research’

Teeth Like God’s Shoeshine probably my favorite opening track of any album ever.

I post exclusively about Limp Bizkit now.

I wish I had the confidence of 2000 Fred Durst who got in the booth with DMX, Method Man, and Redman on the Rollin remix and was like ‘Yeah, I can definitely hang with all these guys’

If you’re a non-wrestling fan and have a longtime wrestling fan in your life, here’s a fun thing to do if you’re bored:

You can make them weirdly emotional by playing the song ‘My Way’ by Limp Bizkit around them.