almi

its cool how the internet actually works like this xkcd comic from 2011 now

If they really wanted to appeal to women they should have made a drink called Monster Fucker.

too real lol

if i was richer than god i would just like get a hobby instead

Changing our status from 'Oh we're FUCKED fucked' to 'FUCKED Fucked, like REALLY fucked.'

I cannot begin to properly articulate how upsetting it is to have had people baselessly accuse trans people of being groomers and pedophiles only for it to come out that they were deliberately doing this as part of a project to provide cover to actual groomers and pedophiles in positions of power

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.

Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

from: orders@amazon.com
to: jeevacation@gmail.com

Your Amazon order is expected to deliver today. This email was sent from an address that cannot accept incoming email. Please do not reply to this message.

from: jeevacation@gmail.com
to: orders@amazon.com

wwhere’s my ordur.. im a pedophile btw

an image of a purple triangle that is an edit of maslov's hierarchy of needs which says "full body contact hugs" however the image i grabbed is not actually legible as the meme so i made the triangle purple and also added the title in the top corner because otherwise this is basically just a triangle which i think maybe actually could be legible abstractly if you just present someone with a labeled triangle but the color purple might be essential. anyway, hugs are nice

high-level drug dealers: "we never mention anything illegal over text. basic details of transit and logistics are discussed only via encrypted comms."

child sex traffickers: "lmao the future president hurt himself in my pedophile mansion bc he was too busy oogling naked children"

my five year plan involves growing demon horns, a tail, and sucking people off to extend my lifespan

this is literally never not accurate

part of the zoomer/millennial intergenerational mating ritual is the millennial making a joke they know isn't funny to see if the zoomer will play along and just how badly they'll humiliate themselves for a crumb of pussy

When you switch from fossil to clean you only use like 30-40% of the energy to do the same stuff, bc most energy from fossil fuels is lost as waste heat

What's I'm trying to say is that all climate action is degrowth

WELCOME TO DEGROWTH EVERYONE

Already run into kids who, when seeing my wildlife photos, exclaim 'that's AI'

It’s like photos of corn on plastic in an inflatable corn maze on grass. The inflatable parts are yellow and blue. It looks like an AI hall of mirrors but it’s IRL.

New uncanny valley unlocked: inflatable corn maze for urban fall fests.

This how I find out I have a son??

Omnibus - blunt home defense weapon used to crush bones, secondary function as a collection of comic books

OVER A MILLION USERS

DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT

EVERY *WEEK*

what the fuck are we DOING here

divergentcoachkelly on Threads * 2h ADHD is knowing exactly what you need to do then watching yourself not do it like you're a scientist observing a very dumb experiment

10/10 take. No notes.

What a queen

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women

🧵

Perhaps most significantly, researchers have learned that queer people were largely reported by people in their own communities. As many as a third of LGBTQ+ people who were arrested were denounced, that is reported to the Nazis, by their friends and family. ”That really changes the understanding of the Nazi period, because it’s easier to think that this was just a top-down hard line or dictatorial regime implementing all these policies, and they’re the ones doing the hunting down and finding of the so-called enemies of the state,” said Newsome. “But what we’re actually seeing is that most Germans just did nothing to protect LGBTQ folks.”

Oh

Screenshots from My Dinner With Andre. Wallace Shawn, a balding white man looking as tired as a human has ever looked, walks a graffiti-strewn subway platform and thinks, "When I was young, all I thought about was art and music. Now I'm 36 and all i think about is cow tools."

average bluesky poster

I knew it would take less than a day for a tiktok dj to make something.

me every time i take molly

please retire the phrase "i wish i had time to be depressed"

1) nobody has time to be depressed
2) depression doesn't care if you're busy
3) willing yourself to force through symptoms bc you have stuff to do is only effective for mild-medium depression, not severe
4) it's a shitty thing to say

YouTube video by Dropout How To Improve Our Bodies | Smartypants Presentation

youtu.be/gtPxuC60GU4?...

Any time I need to laugh I just throw this on and without fail, it does the trick