Jonathan Elsewhere

It’s a black coffee and Cinnamon Toast Crunch kind of morning.
Happy #Saturday!!!

You just described my morning so far.

Right? It’s so strange.

I would love to know what it’s like to sleep normally.

Holy fuck. That’s awful.

I remember buying that CD. Listened to it constantly.
14 year old me would’ve loved to have heard you sing that.
41 year old me still would.
So there.

I mean, when has Twitter ever been askew?

Unacceptable. Time for a roadtrip.

Don’t get me wrong. I have non-negotiables. If I can’t have my fried apples and hash brown casserole, both at the table during the meal with a second order of each for the car ride home, I will have a tantrum and someone will have to buy me scooter pies in the store.

I truly cannot fathom how some people are losing their minds over the Cracker Barrel sign.

Just order the Country Boy Breakfast with an extra side of fried apples and stop whining.

Florida makes the dumb go up to 11.

Imagine if they’d had sandwiches. 🥪

It’s a perfect day for a hike through the pines.
But first, coffee. ☕️
Happy Sunday, all.
#hiking #PineBarrens

I’m in desperate need of a camping trip. Somewhere placid. Rural. Disconnected from all this *gestures wildly*.
#camping #nature #calm #unplugged

There’s gotta be a better way to fight injustice.

Oklahoma's Trump-Loving, Bible-Thumping Superintendent Faces Porn Probe A video of naked women reportedly played in Ryan Walters’ office during an executive session of the Oklahoma State Board of Education.

Tough break, skid marks. That’s what happens when you’re a degenerate piece of shit.

I understand completely. Just sharing my honest, unfiltered thoughts.

Pinterest knows me so well.

p.s. - No. please no. Never. Uh-uh. Negative, Ghost Rider. Your upper arms are *perfect*.

Okay. Heard and understood. I’ve been there. I know that feeling well. And I also know that the only opinion that matters here is yours. Thats a given. But I do feel the need to point out that you are jaw-droppingly (word?) stunning in every way imaginable and nothing can change that. At all. Ever.

Just gonna go ahead and preemptively cross that one off my list.

Good evening from New Jersey.

20 minutes later, I got out of the pool because it started raining.
Why? Why did I do that? 🤦‍♂️

The image shows a nighttime view of a home swimming pool that is glowing blue. The night sky is overcast and bright. Trees are in the background.

Good evening, all.
Enjoy your weekend.

I’m in #training all day. Please send words of encouragement. Or pics of your pets.
Or pics of your landscaping.
Pics of something you’re proud of.
Recipes.
Electrical/plumbing tips and tricks.
Ghost stories.

ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING BEFORE I SUCCUMB TO THE BOREDOM.
Please and thank you. 🙏
#work

What four fictional characters are you a combination of?

Poolside with a cigar, a book, a beer and vaguely stormy skies.
Happy #Friday evening, all.

I will never understand why ketchup on a hot dog is such an issue.
#Summer

I uh… I need a vacation. ASAP.

I can’t even imagine being that stupid. Holy shit.