Jon Distortion

Minimalism is a scam developed by Big Small to sell more less.

Trump frickin' loves this guy lmao

Y'know, I was mostly joking when I said this, but I'm certainly not complaining about the result.

That's nice. Now release the Epstein Files.

Breaking: the President of the United States, the Secretary of War, and the "most powerful military in the world" require emotional support and validation from Chuck Schumer. More at six.

In light of the helpful demonstrations given to us by the Disney and Target corporations, I believe the chant of "Go Woke, Go Broke" ought to be retired.

In its place, I suggest we adopt the new-and far superior-phrase "Go Fash, Lose Cash."

Two facts I feel as though people tend to overlook:
1) Estrogen is a steroid
2) Steroids are lipids

That is all.

I forgot

I must lock in tomorrow.

Bad optics again

Bad optics

Huh, so it's being renamed to the Department of War again.

Perhaps it was all meant to be.

Leo XIII | Biography, 19th Century Pope, & Social Reformer | Britannica Leo XIII was the head of the Roman Catholic Church (1878–1903). He brought a new spirit to the papacy, expressed in more conciliatory positions toward civil governments, by less opposition to scientif...

In light of the instatement of the new Pope, Leo XIV, here's some information on the last pope to take on the name Leo:
www.britannica.com/biography/Le...

And so the series claims another.

Update: We're friends now.

W e l l I ' d s a y i t d e p e n d s o n a n u m b e r o f f a c t o r s , b u t t h a n k y o u f o r t h e i n t e r e s t i n g h y p o t h e t i c a l . : ] I s h a l l t h i n k o n t h i s .

Petition for someone to obtain a rat and grant it the name "Cheez-It." Benefits of this action will include:

-New rat friend.
-Having a rat with the name "Cheez-It."
-Substantial increase in profits for the Kellanova corporation because you gave it free advertising.
-New conversation piece.

anarchocapitalism

We cannot always have victory overall; however, I still stand as undefeated by my rival. So really, I won where it mattered.

But unfortunately, something went so very wrong; and now Edwin can't do anything but sing a stupid song.

Great Molasses Flood | Definition, Fatalities, & Facts | Britannica Great Molasses Flood, disaster in Boston when a storage tank collapsed on January 15, 1919, releasing two million gallons of molasses.

It recently came to my attention that some people do not know of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919. I am devastated by this knowledge and urge those who ARE aware of it to act swiftly in order to rectify this situation.

www.britannica.com/topic/Great-...

ah sweet, sweet vindication. how I love you.

I shall take grammar into consideration when writing shitposts in the future; you have opened my eyes to a world I thought impossible and I can never repay you for this act of service.

this is true; I was there when it happened

With this Valentine's Day coming to a close, I begin pondering the many mysteries associated with February: why does it have the least days of any month? Why do we add a day to it on leap years? Why does National Tater Tot Day take place within it? Many such questions- all with no meaningful answers

if life is soup and we emerged from the primordial soup and our brains reside in a cerebrospinal fluid technically qualifying as soup and so many varieties of soup exist in this beautiful world then we must conclude if a god exists it has an inordinate fondness for the dish and I can't blame it tbh

Transformers One is the type of kids movie I'm for once grateful didn't come out while I was a child; I would've made it my entire personality.

I would defeat your evil twin brother by trying to defraud the biggest toy drive of the year at the 2026 Milwaukee World's Fair before he could. He wouldn't stand a chance.