Just came under a MASSIVE PSYCHIC ASSAULT at the grocery store
22.02.2026 23:43 β π 7284 π 1084 π¬ 174 π 186@themiimer.bsky.social
"They thought they could stop a demon I'm back." - Dracula flow, 2023
Just came under a MASSIVE PSYCHIC ASSAULT at the grocery store
22.02.2026 23:43 β π 7284 π 1084 π¬ 174 π 186EGG HEAD - Good morning, yeah! One, two, three! Yekokataa, the place to be!
22.02.2026 23:20 β π 38 π 5 π¬ 0 π 0A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.
A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."
A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."
A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"
Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not
14.02.2026 20:07 β π 17624 π 6085 π¬ 230 π 178misogynist therapy
where you get your knots worked out while bitching about women
I can turn any president into lifeless goo
21.02.2026 01:37 β π 4 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0fucking christ, man...
21.02.2026 03:37 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0regarding the recent news
20.02.2026 20:53 β π 3735 π 1646 π¬ 6 π 15girl named bomb collar
20.02.2026 02:22 β π 95 π 18 π¬ 3 π 0An old comic style of a woman looking out her window at a city skyline. The bubble says, βWhat a stupid time to be alive.β
20.02.2026 16:28 β π 7206 π 1152 π¬ 23 π 49I see that you're still obsessed with me
20.02.2026 18:38 β π 43 π 24 π¬ 4 π 0A photo of an AYN Thor playing Pokemon LeafGreen on the top screen with the yaoi manga "Zombie Hide Sex" on the bottom screen showing two boys kissing
Pokemon FireRed and LeafGreen for $20 on the eShop? Oh, that's ok...I have my own setup already
20.02.2026 14:56 β π 4760 π 1662 π¬ 76 π 31a barrel of monkeys couldn't possibly be humane
20.02.2026 12:49 β π 5 π 2 π¬ 0 π 0THE IS MY LAUNDRY DAY SHIRT IF YOU TRY TO HIT ON ME I WILL KILL US BOTH
working on a shirt to wear to the laundromat
20.02.2026 17:38 β π 2571 π 352 π¬ 23 π 10tfw your mum isnβt about to spend millions on trying to make it all go away
19.02.2026 19:59 β π 3379 π 512 π¬ 207 π 50close enough
welcome back, binding of isaac!
heated coil
20.02.2026 18:44 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0No one out here drinks Dunks because it tastes good, doyyy. We drink it bc itβs just kinda everywhere, like despair
20.02.2026 18:47 β π 88 π 27 π¬ 4 π 0ohhhhh- hey, i love angst too!
20.02.2026 19:38 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0#slay
20.02.2026 19:37 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0this is what the inside of my head is like
20.02.2026 16:52 β π 49 π 10 π¬ 1 π 0kill him π π½πͺ
20.02.2026 13:56 β π 4 π 2 π¬ 1 π 0I'm gonna be ok I just decided
20.02.2026 16:04 β π 86 π 21 π¬ 3 π 0AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
20.02.2026 19:27 β π 22 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0WE FIRED OUR FACT CHECKERS AND PASSEDΒ THE SAVINGS TO YOU.
Become A Member. Get The Paper. https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfegPAAQ
20.02.2026 19:30 β π 1304 π 106 π¬ 10 π 3fuckingbitch of a customer got upset at me that her order wasnβt completedβ¦30 MINUTES BEFORE ITS DO AND BEFORE WERE EVEN OPEN ?????
20.02.2026 15:25 β π 49 π 1 π¬ 3 π 0