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Tracey Champmanager will be joining us later with her new song Talkin’ ‘bout a Football Revolution.

A Kindle showing the book cover for J.K. Rowling’s book The Casual Vacancy.

#10 - Who doesn’t love a BBC adaptation tie-in cover?

We all still ram cotton wool buds into our ears even though we’re not meant to, don’t we?

Rest in peace, Kilnockie FC manager Gordon McLeod.

A Kindle showing the book cover for Louise Penny’s book Bury Your Dead.

#9 - These books have been great for teaching me Québécois French swears. Tabernak!

Roman Batbin is my confirmation name.

The people on Goodreads that leave reviews for books they’ve not finished deserve a double prod in the areolas. Two Peter Pointers, poke poke.

The people on Letterboxd that don’t rate the films they watch deserve a real deep prod in the belly button. The kind that makes you a wee bit boaky.

Some of my best friends are tired men!

a silhouette of a man in a cape is flying over the earth ALT: a silhouette of a man in a cape is flying over the earth

My favourite scenes in the Superman movies are when the big lad juices himself up on the sun. That’s what today feels like.

I have McGregor Syndrome and now you do too.

An image of a mermaid doll missing some of her long blue hair. Her skull can be seen. She is wearing a bikini top and a necklace.

Mermaid Barbie has had a hard life.

A Kindle showing the book cover for Louise Penny’s book The Brutal Telling.

#8 - Back to Poshoville.

Imma go as CGI baby.

You know that it might be time to launch your jeans in for a wash when the dug starts licking them. Not for affection, for flavour.

I really like this band, but I can’t add them to my Apple Music library because they’re called Ham Sandwich. I can’t have a band in there called Ham Sandwich. I just can’t.

I can’t believe Keir Starmer is still Prime Minister when you have Eni Aluko, in the stands, 105 caps for England. Staggering.

A Kindle showing the book cover for Louise Penny’s book A Rule Against Murder.

#7 - These books are so posh. Everyone eats fancy foods and speaks in French. Hon hon hon, garlic bread et révolution.

I do not care for swamp films or films set in swamps or films where there is a lot of swamping.

A Kindle showing the book cover for Willy Vlautin’s book The Horse.

#6 - Devouring another Willy.

Just heard the terrible news from Hollywood. Another Fast & Furious film! Jks, jks, I bloody love the Fast & Furious films. Every single second of them.

I know Cat Power isn’t her real name, but does she mean it to be first name Cat, surname Power? Or is it meant as a statement like Puppy Power, Max Power or White Power?

Someone take a hammer to that Doomsday Clock. Useless.

I have created a character named Will Return.

At this end of the credits of his debut movie: ‘Will Return will return’

The hardback book cover for Evan Dando’s book Rumors of My Desire: A Memoir.

#5 - Jill’s brother.

42 years old, skin like a paper bag, and I’m still getting plukes.

A Kindle showing the book cover for Nick Hornby’s book Just Like You.

#4 - I’ve already started this. It’s… not great.

I love Willy Vlautin’s books, but I don’t think I know of anything else that makes me feel so wretchedly miserable.

A Kindle showing the book cover for Willy Vlautin’s book The Night Always Comes.

#3 - Who doesn’t love a movie tie-in cover?

Most of my conversations are lambasting Past Alister and threatening Future Alister. Present Alister is the worst of them though.