Joe with a Herringbone Floor and 6 chips

Survivorship bias on both sides of this argument.

My biggest temptation when on a train is to do that Jim Carey thing from Dumb and Dumber where he pretends he’s running really fast

This is George, who we had to put down today at the ripe old age of 17. He was the best cat and the best friend. He was so happy and silly and friendly and lovely.

Shown here in his better days, which is how I will remember him.

Rishi Sunak, the person in charge of the country despite never having led his party through a general election, is here to school us about “protecting democracy”

Shouting “thanks, mate” as loud as I can as I get off the last carriage of a 12 carriage train

Did you see the thing where the government wants to make it easier for councils to sell off their assets for short term gains in their budgets? 🫠

Tax cuts are literally a bribe. Projections show that the cuts would have to be rolled back after a general election anyway because the books will be even more fucked.

The reason given for my late train is “due to delays”

Obviously haven’t seen my arse then

Dully noted, on a beige piece of scrap paper using a blunt beige crayon.

If you run a business and you’re pissing and moaning about the minimum wage increase then you’re part of the problem 🫠

🎶 DVLA, four capital letters 🎶

Joyful, full of joy.

Whimsical, full of whimsy.

Respectful, full of respect.

Needful, full of need.

Hateful, full of hate.

Grateful, full of grate.

“Dreams of a roof over their heads” jfc is that where we’re at… people have to be able to dream of having a dry warm home, not actually have one? That’s the benchmark?

Some men are ass men. Some men are boob men. You are a bin man.

It is possible for multiple things to be true:

Getting cancer is sad.

This country also needs to get a fucking grip.

Old timey, just like the fax machine.

Saw some guy reading a newspaper yesterday and it was full of giant headlines like “THE ODDS ARE GOOD” and “CAMILLA IS BY HIS SIDE”. Beyond satire.

Have there ever been delays on the Victoria Line due to trespassers on the track?

Thanks for the reminder Nick 🙏😔🔫

Feel like I shouldn’t have expected better of them tbh

This “To Catch A Copper” is fucking shocking

On-duty British police officers wearing roller skates

I bet the person at each of the thousands of companies and schools who chose the “STAFF” lanyards is so proud of themselves for such a unique idea that surely could never lead to a situation where someone who is not staff at their workplace could also have a “STAFF” lanyard.

The NHS refusing a referral because “some” criteria were not met but they refuse to specify which criteria were not met? Must be a day of the week ending in “day”.

Why are the words for war crime in quotes?

London cabbies are claiming they’re losing their livelihoods because of 20mph speed limits because *checks notes* they’re getting 12 points on their license by speeding in 20mph zones.