Tristan Amelia

“The groypers are tansmaxxing” thank you so much I genuinely thought the song WAP was the worst thing I’d ever have to explain to my parents.

Today in group therapy I was encouraged to start every day by making my bed. By a man who sleeps on a mattress on the floor.

A MAN???

WHO SLEEPS??

ON A MATTRESS….

ON THE FLOOR?!?!?!?

(yes he was)

How many planes have to fall out of the sky, how many people have to die, before we start talking about the gutting of the FAA on the president’s orders?

Remember when Biden was president and we didn’t have plane crashes??

Reality show idea: 25 miserable couples do challenges to win the right to divorce quickly. Last couple gets therapy. Copyright.

Here at the end of days I’d like you all to know that I find the Gilmore Girls completely insufferable. God, just the worst.

Kim Mulkey always looks like a Eastern European tourist visiting America for purge night

Some thoughts on Beat Bobby Flay - why has no one tried using a baseball bat? Call Joe Burrow’s sword dealer. Your signature dish is jujitsu.

You do not have to like your coworkers. You do not have to befriend them. They are the people you know because you need insurance. Those are your healthcare acquaintances.

Today I thought one of my students was saying chaperone but she was really saying Chappell Roan and I don’t get it until she sang hot to go

If Bryce Harper and I have even 27% overlap in the hockey romances we read, milk ain’t the only thing that boy is doing raw